Will I Ever Sleep Again?

I am exhausted.  I hardly sleep because Veda is still crying in the evenings and because there are some things that simply NEED to get done around the house that can't be done while Sylvia is awake-- like folding laundry.  She tries to be "helpful" and I spend all my time refolding and refolding and refolding.  I also can no longer vacuum because she has taken a recent interest in helping me push the vacuum.  Very sweet, but does not allow for productive cleaning.  And, of course, I need to wash all those bottles (again!) so that I have some clean ones come morning.  So, my day generally "ends" around 1:00-1:30 a.m. and it "begins" around 7:00 a.m.  The "ends" and "begins" denotes that sometimes I am still awake and tending to the littlest one during this supposed time of sleeping.

Dave and I also haven't really talked with each other in weeks.  I am not entirely sure what is going on in his life other than the kids and trying to help out around the house when he can.  This is the sad thing about living in the middle of nowhere-- no babysitters.

I know that this is a short-lived experience in the grand scheme of things.  A day will come when the girls not only won't need us as much but will also not want us as much.  And the truth is that this day will come sooner than we think.

But while we are in the thick of it, this day seems like an eternity away, so my current comfort is in the beautiful faces that greet me every morning (or in the middle of the night) and the sweet hugs and kisses that I receive and the smiles that look in my direction at the mere sound of my voice.  These small things give me the greatest joy.