The Ertman-Trowbridge Family

Asking for Patience

2012-02-09T15:57:00.000-08:00

My dear followers, I have learned something. I have learned that three small children, one of whom is still a new baby, means that I have virtually no time to myself. No time to knit, read, spin, or even blog. I hardly have time to sleep, but when I do have a small snippet of time it is this last activity that you will be likely to see me doing. And so, while things keep happening here, and many are things I would simply love to tell you about, I am struggling to find a spot in my day to upload photos, edit photos, and write.

Stay tuned. I will always try to share what I can, when I can.

Hand Knits, Cousins and Dresses

2012-01-01T21:55:00.000-08:00

This is Miss Wonderful, as her name tag says. And Miss Wonderful is growing! I made her an adorable (according to me!) hand knit outfit:

And she wore it for the first time on New Year's Eve:

As you can see, she shocked even herself that it fit so nicely already! She simply had to show it off to her cousin, Lincoln, born exactly seven weeks before her:

He, um, didn't care for it much at first. Miss Wonderful took the rejection very personally. So, they attempted to make up:

Things took a while before they warmed to one another again, but finally a peace agreement was met:

No worries, they have generally gotten along well in the past:

Speaking of cousins, these older two are doing well and staying very chummy. They both got rocking chairs for Christmas. Lovebug's belonged to her Oma and her Great Aunt, and Dax's belonged to Opa:

Lovebug felt it very important that I include another picture with her and Dax. This is because she wanted to show off her own lovely dress that she was wearing for New Year's Eve (and Oma's birthday):

She, however, does not understand the necessity of facing the camera in order to show off said dress. Dax doesn't seem to get it either. Oh-well. And in case you are worried that the Pumpkin is sitting silently in a corner somewhere, never fear. She makes it thoroughly impossible to ever forget her presence:

Happy New Year!

Happy Christmas Weekend!

2011-12-22T18:35:00.000-08:00

"First" Bath

2011-12-08T14:45:00.000-08:00

So, like nearly all newborns, we took pictures of Evvie's "first" bath. It is her "first" because she had several while in the NICU. We even bathed her while she was in the NICU. It is also her "first" because this bath was given at my folks' house the night before we all headed home. But, needless, this was indeed her first bath after leaving the hospital.

Unlike many newborns, she has cried only once during a bath thus far. And, of course, it was the bath we photographed! Otherwise, I have been amazed at how patient and calm she remains during bathing.

Almost done! Just a little more rinsing off.

Phew! Warm and cozy in the towel!

Before the Homecoming

2011-11-27T21:42:00.000-08:00

It was decided that we would not go directly home after Guinevere left the hospital. We were encouraged to stay close by for the first couple of nights, in case Evvie did have problems. And on Monday Dave officially takes over his new position at work and had already said that he was planning on being in the office that day. Originally my mother-in-law was going to come up to help me care for the children and do all those things that I cannot yet do (such as lift Veda), but God had other plans.

This past Tuesday morning my father-in-law's father (Dave's grandpa) passed away. He was ninety-three, adored my children (and even liked me), and while his death was expected, it is still always hard when the end does finally come. His funeral is tomorrow and this is where Dave's family will be. There was just no way that we could attend services, given our own family's situation. But there will be an additional service at the Veteran's Home (where he was a resident) and we will attend this memorial.

And so, our family has continued to take up residence with my folks, whom have been most supportive. And it was to their house that Evvie was first introduced. She was greeted warmly by both of her sisters.

As we suspected, we have already had some trouble with Sylvia being a little too motherly. We have had a couple of incidents where she has been "holding" Baby Evvie and then has not wanted to give her up when I have said that it was time for me to take her. It is very sweet, and the Little Pumpkin is a truly caring big sister, and when you're three and as independent and stubborn as my Sylvia, you think you can do it all as well as Mommy. Guidelines will be given and over the next several weeks I am hoping that Sylvia will learn all the ways in which she can help Baby Evvie while not causing unintentional harm to her.

What has surprised me is the initial interest Lovebug has shown in her baby sister. She has wanted to hold her (which she sort of did once already), and she has "helped with feedings," and has often run over to check on her. But probably the sweetest thing is the last couple of nights while climbing the stairs to her bedroom she looks behind her, waves her little hand and says, "Night-night, baby." And this all coming from the girl whom when I told her we were getting Baby Evvie from the hospital and bringing her to Oma and Opa's house she looked at me, shook her head, and said, "No, no."

But as it begins to sink in that Evvie is a permanent fixture, we will see some jealousy begin to emerge (from both our older children). Sylvia sort of understands that Guinevere is now a part of our family and that she will be going home with us. Veda, I do not believe, can yet comprehend that when we go home Guinevere is coming with us. Guinevere is going to be in Veda's house now, a place where Veda has only ever known her mommy and daddy and big sister and pets have ever resided. It will be interesting, to say the least.

This and the following pictures are all of Evvie today. She is eating like a "real" newborn and is quickly filling out! She is growing chubby cheeks, and her tummy is beginning to get round. She is adorable. She is a miracle.

I knit those booties months ago already. I made them especially small as all of my children have always had small feet, and I suspected that I may not deliver a full term baby as Veda came early. But still I worried that those booties would never fit on my third daughter's feet. It is the feared crisis situation for every knitter. But in the end, not only do those booties fit, they are too large. She has the teeniest ankles and the most narrow feet I have ever seen. But again, she is growing fast and those adorable preemie outfits she has been wearing will be packed away in the closet probably far more quickly than I am prepared for.

Dave is a very happy Daddy. The love he has for his girls is amazing to me. I always knew that when the time came and we decided to have children he would be a good father, but I had no idea just how much love is inside this man. This coming Sunday will be our seven year wedding anniversary and while we have been through some remarkable struggles and continue to face some present hardships and will certainly have many challenges ahead of us, I would marry him again and again and again.

Late Tuesday morning Guinevere has her first doctor's appointment. It will be the first time Dave will get to attend one of our girls' first doctor's office visits. He had to work for the other two and my mom had to drive me and my daughter. It is after this appointment that we will return to my parents' house, load the rest of our stuff into the van (including our three girls) and then finally head home-- together as a family of five.

And as a final note: My day to day life is hard. We live in a very rural area with no support anywhere in the immediate vicinity (not to discount Phil, who has been amazing in caring for the animals these past couple of weeks), and there are no local places to bring the children so they can run around and burn off energy (and we live in a very small house). I have one child with special needs that do affect our daily life and, well, I now have three very small children. I do worry about this winter. It can be very isolating by us, and now with a preemie who is not supposed to go anywhere except to the doctor and back, it will be just me and my girls.

Yes, it is hard. But I cannot complain. I have been given three precious little lives. I often lie in bed at night and feel overwhelmed with gratitude that for some reason I have been entrusted with these amazing daughters. And I am so excited to get to know them and watch them grow and I can only hope and pray that I can have the same positive impact on them as they have already had on me. When it comes right down to it, I love my life. I feel as though I have been blessed far beyond what I deserve.

And so, Lord, thank you for all my blessings, particularly those in the form of my loving husband and three beautiful girls.

Escaping the Hospital!

2011-11-27T15:27:00.000-08:00

Friday was the day! Evvie was going to escape from the hospital! We arrived late morning, and as we weren't sure how long discharge was going to take, we quickly grabbed a bowl of soup from the Cafe (one last meal in that place, which is actually pretty good). And then we headed upstairs and flashed our "parent bands" one last time . . .

I had gotten a phone call that morning from one of my favorite nurses in the Special Care Nursery, Martine. She was calling to let me know that Guinevere was discharged. The paper work had all been signed. We just had to let her know an approximate time for our arrival to come get her!

In the above picture she is wearing what was supposed to be her hospital picture outfit, but it didn't get used for that purpose. In fact, Evvie never really got any "real" hospital picture taken, and she never even got her second week picture taken by the professional photographer who comes into the hospital to photograph the preemies. Oh well. The outfit served a far finer purpose: It was her going home outfit! We couldn't get a good picture, but it is kind of difficult with a baby that small to figure out how to prop her to show off her cute little duds. I had made the booties (and a scad more for other babies) months earlier.

This was the first time I got to photograph the whole going home process. Before, I had always been too close to my surgery to think that clearly to get all these classic shots.

As Evvie and I waited for Dave to pick us up, we sat by the Christmas tree that had been put up near the front entrance earlier that week. I looked down and realized that she was the most perfect little present sitting under this tree:

You may need this closer shot to see that she is actually there!

It was a gorgeous day. Dave and I did not even need to wear our coats! It was probably about 50F and sunny. There could not have been a more perfect late November day to bring our little girl home.

A Thankful Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T15:02:00.000-08:00

This was the precious face that greeted us Wednesday when we went to the Special Care Nursery. This was a very happy day. We learned that Guinevere had passed the last 24 hours with great success. She had taken more than enough with her feedings (needing a required 180 milliliters of milk in four feedings in twelve hours, and having taken over 200 milliliters!). She also had only one small alarm earlier that morning but she came out of it herself. She was doing so well that we were told that if she "behaved herself" then she would maybe get to come home the following day, Thanksgiving Day.

The next morning I phoned the NICU, eager to learn if we would get to celebrate the holiday with our entire family together. The nurse answered, I gave our "parent code" and then asked how Evvie was. The first thing I heard was, "She's doing great. In fact, we think she gets to go home tomorrow!" Tomorrow? I was surprisingly disappointed. I had been preparing myself for a Friday discharge, just so that I would not experience this precise disappointment. And yet, disappointment still came, especially after learning why she was not being discharged: She had only gained ten grams two days earlier. Two days earlier? If that was the beef, then couldn't they have told us that the day before?!

Oh well. We were just thankful that our daughter was doing spectacularly well and that she would be coming home the next day. And we enjoyed our Thanksgiving Feast:

And after the food was eaten and the children were down for their naps, we went to celebrate with Guinevere (and watch a host of videos and listen to a lot of lectures on how to be a parent, all the while thinking to ourselves, "Hmmm . . . We have done this whole newborn/infancy (and even preemie!) thing two other times in the last THREE years . . . I think we're pretty good on all categories." But we would do whatever it took to bring our daughter home.) This is Dave and Evvie "celebrating" this wonderful Day of Thanks together:

Taking a Closer Look

2011-11-21T21:19:00.000-08:00

Evvie sported her "cool sunglasses" (as her biggest sister, Sylvia, says) for two days. We were happy to arrive at the hospital Sunday afternoon and find that she was no longer the "blue light special" of the NICU. Her bili count did climb a little today, but not enough to warrant any concern. We were told that we are in the holding phase right now. She just needs to grow a bit more and be able to bottle enough food and then she will be ready to come home. She will not be home for Thanksgiving, like I had originally hoped, but she should be ready to come home at some point this coming weekend. But aren't those some cool shades? Let's take a closer look . . .

As I said, Evvie needs to be able to take enough food from a bottle before she is ready to come home. She did really well today, nippling most of her feedings and needing only small "leftovers" put through her tube. Dave is demonstrating this feeding technique, called gavage feeding. But let's take a closer look and see what Evvie thinks . . .

Hmmm . . . I'm not sure what she thinks, but I do think she looks tired and isn't too sure about the tube in her nose. Let's see what bottle feeding with Daddy looks like:

You may notice that Evvie is lying on her side while Dave is feeding her. Preemies are best fed when held in this position. It allows the milk to pool in the side of their cheek, giving them a little more time to swallow and decreasing the amount of sputtering and choking that may occur. Taking a closer look again we can see that Evvie is very happy and content with her bottle feeding:

Truth be told, she was a little too happy and content. Very shortly after this she had fallen into a deep sleep and could not be roused to finish her bottle and we had to commence with the G-tube feeding. This is what happens with preemies, they work so hard to suck, swallow, breathe that they often pass out before they can finish their feeding. But with a little more time, she will put on more weight and gain more energy and then she will probably be sucking down bottles like they were chocolate milk.

And I spent some quality time with Evvie today, teaching her a very important skill:

Yes, we were knitting together. I am nearly finished with her entire layette set (cardigan, pants, hat, headband, booties, and stuffed animal) and I figured, as she came so early, she could at least help me complete her goodies.

And what is that? Do I have a born lover of fiber lying on my lap? Let's take a closer look:

Why, yes . . . Yes, I do!

Fidget is Here!

2011-11-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

I am still in some shock as I write this, announcing to you that this past Sunday afternoon (2:15 p.m., to be precise) our little Guinevere "Evvie" Rae was born! She entered this world with some sass, crying and fussy-- no greater sound to parents of a baby born nearly six weeks early. She was 5 lbs. and 5 oz and 18" long. Dave was able to hold her and show her to me and then got to walk her down to the NICU himself.

Once in the Special Care Nursery (NICU), she was given an x-ray to check her lungs, placed on oxygen, and had some blood drawn. The x-ray came back with a reading that she possibly had pneumonia, but the hospital pediatrician said she thought the scan was blurry only because Evvie took a deep breath in, expanding her lungs and moving her body a bit, to scream at the precise moment the x-ray was taken. Blood work confirmed this theory, as everything came back normal.

She was quickly weaned from the oxygen and within a day or so was removed from air altogether. She has never been placed back on. Her first two days proved that she is an amazing little girl. She began to nipple from a bottle, often taking her entire feeding through a bottle (and not her tube). She was also completely weaned from her i.v. by Tuesday evening. Wednesday we began to see her tire out a bit and her bilirubin count was rising. She began to take less of her feedings from a bottle as she just got too tired to continue sucking. I was discharged from the hospital Wednesday afternoon.

By Friday her bilirubin was so high that she was placed in a bili blanket (this replaces the old "blue lights" of the past, and has proven to be about 3x more efficient). Yesterday was a hard day for her. She ate very little from the bottle and most of her milk was given to her through her tube. She had also lost an additional 2 ounces, putting her weight under 5 lbs. While I got to feed her without the bili blanket, the rest of the time she was snuggly wrapped in one, glowing a nauseating blue. Evvie gets to wear "cool dude shades" to protect her from getting a headache or even sick to her stomach from the glow, but the rest of us cannot look at her for too long without feeling a migraine coming. Dave had been at work for part of the day and by the time he could have gone to the hospital to see her it was already dark in the nursery, making the blue light even more intense. He decided to just let her sleep in peace and visit her today with me.

Today she was doing so much better! Her bilirubin count had dropped by nearly 4 points and she had gained 2 ounces back. She did not look nearly as orange and was eating better. She was also alert for most of the two feedings we got to do with her today, which was not the case yesterday. She knew when we arrived at the nursery, because when she heard our voices she promptly stirred, opened her eyes and began to search for the voices. This was really neat to see.

So, what happened? Why did she come so early? This is the question(s) I have been asked a lot this past week. The short answer is that I went into labor. The long answer: I woke up Sunday morning with contractions around 4:00 a.m. but did not think much of it yet because I had been waking up around the same time every morning with contractions. But by about 9:00 a.m. I began to wonder a bit. I took a shower and got dressed and at around 10:00 I decided to let Dave know that we were maybe going to be having a baby that day. At 11:00 we piled the kids in the car and headed for my parents' house.

On the drive down I finally heard back from the on call doctor. It was, of course, the one doctor I had never even see, much less met before, from my OB/GYN's office. He sounded rather skeptical on the phone and when I told him we were already on the way he just said, "Well, I guess we'll see what you've got when you get here." [As a side note: I had decided that we were not going to drive 70 miles, burden my parents with the kids, only to be told to go back home. I was going to make sure I was actually in labor and that a child was going to be born before deciding to go to the hospital.]

The doctor came into my room shortly after our arrival. He casually sat down in a chair across the room from me, looked me over and said, "Well, you do have a look about you. That look that I often see on women in labor . . ." Meanwhile, I'm thinking, Will you just check me already and get this show on the road?! ". . . Because, you know, we don't take delivering a 34-weeker lightly . . ." Yes, I know! Will you just check me already?! "So, I'll check you now and we'll see what's going on." It's about time!

He checks me, gives what almost seemed like a little sigh and then looks right at the nurse and says, "Oh, yeah, she's in labor. This is a no brainer. I'll make the phone calls." Finally!

Surgery went very well. No complications. And the doctor actually proved to be a pretty great guy. He's a little odd, but he knows his stuff and was even willing to do sutures instead of staples at my request. My recovery time went without a hitch as well. And a little after 9:00 p.m. I was able to be wheeled down to the Special Nursery to see Evvie and do some Kangaroo Care with her (also known as skin to skin). Below is me holding my baby for the first time:

And please remember that I am only six hours post-op at this time, so my appearance should be somewhat excusable. She was already sucking, the pacifier (or "pipe" as we call them in my family) is evidence of that. And currently, even when she takes little from her bottle during feedings, she has already begun to establish a very good "suck, swallow, breathe pattern." In many ways this is more important than her taking her entire bottle.

Her sisters are allowed to visit her. They have been twice now. Tuesday morning Dave brought them and he again came with them after nap time today. Sylvia is rather fascinated and smitten with her sister, but Veda remains a little stand-offish. This does not come as any great surprise. We fully expect the jealousy issues to be more severe with our second daughter than with our first. Our primary concern with our eldest is that she will be too much of a mother to "Baby Evvie" and we may need to intervene during some of her "caring" for her baby sister.

Her name: Guinevere we just really liked, much like her sisters' first names. Also like her sisters' names, her middle name is after a late family member. Rae is after Dave's grandpa, Raymond. Dave always had a huge respect for his grandpa and I was lucky enough that I got to meet him and spend some time with him before his passing from lung cancer. He was a pretty neat guy, and I know he really liked me and I suspect he knew that Dave and I were going to marry one day. And so, Guinevere is his little girl in name. And, also like her sisters, she has a second middle name- my last name.

We have been calling her "Evvie" for a long time already. I just thought it was a cute nickname but it is also easy enough for both of her sisters to say. And Sylvia has, in fact, been talking about and to "Baby Evvie" for quite a while. [Please note: The name is Evvie with two v's and not Ewie, with a w. I chose the two v's so that people would know the E was short and not long, as in Eve-y. But perhaps I only added to the confusion!]

While Evvie is in the hospital all of us are staying with my parents. This is both wonderful and stressful all at the same time. We hate being an added stress and burden to my parents, but we also know that they are more than happy to help us. We need to be close to Evvie and the girls need someone to watch them so we can spend time with our youngest. We are immensely grateful to my folks for all their help and support. Likewise, not enough can be said for the ways in which Dave's folks have also been amazing in their willingness to help. My mother-in-law has been available to come stay with the girls so that my mom can bring me to the hospital or to run some errands or to just be able to get a cup of coffee in peace. She has also been our "gopher," willing to pick up all those last minute essentials. And while I am still recovering from surgery (which will be for several more weeks), we need all the help we can get!

This is, believe it or not, the short synopsis of our last week! I will try to keep everyone updated on Guinevere and as soon as I know she gets to come home, I will be sure to let you know too!

Halloween Faeries

2011-11-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

This year the girls were faeries for Halloween. And just like last year, I could not get a nice picture of either of them. But trust me, they were adorable! Lovebug, especially, was just too cute with her chubby butt cheeks. (Something I am sure she will appreciate me having said about her in the future!)

Trick or Treating was at a minimal this year. We were at my folks' last Saturday afternoon and the girls got their treats from Oma and Opa and then we headed to Dave's folks' for the evening where the girls went Trick or Treating at three different doors at their house. This was very fun and it gave the Pumpkin the impression that she really had gone Trick or Treating. And she had, even if it was in miniature form! We do not live anywhere near an area where trick or treating is a real possibility for the kids, so in the years to come we will have to be on the lookout for weekend activities that we can take the kids to.

Last year we took the girls (and Stepher and Joe took Dax) to Aunt Selma's nursing home. We had such a wonderful time and this is my last good memory of Aunt Selma before she passed away in December. It made for a kind of bittersweet time this year as I just kept remembering Aunt Selma wheeling herself in front of all of us down the crowded hallway and telling everyone who passed that "These are all my nieces and nephews behind me. All my nieces and nephews." She adored the babies and even that last night that she saw Veda she was trying to reach for her to hold her. Aunt Selma was stubborn, crotchety, and an obsessive worrier, but I really do miss her.

I am aware that my daughter has her finger up her nose. Despite all my demands (and my mother's as well) to pull her finger out, she refused. So yes, Veda, you had adorable chubby cheeks and you picked your nose!

Nursery Revamped and Playing In the Leaves

2011-10-10T19:45:00.000-07:00

I have been working on Veda's room trying to get it ready for her little sister to move in when that time arrives. Veda's theme has always been owls and we are kind of just sticking with that for LG. (Or my husband has begun to call her "Fidget," as she is constantly on the move. I think it's pretty cute). We are, I guess, officially making "her" animal a squirrel (like Veda is owl and Sylvia is frog), but really the room has a very feather-friendly feel.

I am certainly not a decorator, but I like how the room looks. I have a very eclectic sense of style with a little of this and a little of that and a knick knack here and another one there. (My mom calls this clutter, but what does she know?!) But what I really love about this room is the handmade aspect. My sister, Stephanie, painted the owl on the wall you see above the little dresser/changing table. A friend made the window valance after Lovebug was born and Grandma's handiwork is in the crib bedding and pillow. Nana Jeanne has a cross stitch contribution. Even my mom has a tiny piece, by way of an adorable little pillow for Veda's Babydoll that is sitting in her crib. And my knitted work can be spotted in various places.

It is hard to see, but that dark painting is of three owls. My sister painted it and I received it at my baby shower two Saturdays ago. Stepher was not there, as she was still only six days past giving birth, but my mom and youngest sister brought it with them. I love it.

Yesterday we were at a birthday party for a friend of Sylvia's (who turned three recently). My girls had a great time (and the parents did too!), but the most fun had by my hubby and kids were when they were playing in the leaves.

Jen, mom of the birthday girl, looked at me and sarcastically said, "They seem to be having a really good time in the leaves over there. You know, if you want to bag some up and take them home with you that would be fine." I laughed and replied, "As if we don't have enough!" To which she said, "Yeah, that whole living in the middle of the woods thing." But it is funny. My kids get to play in leaves all the time, and yet, when presented with more that's where they will be.

Power in My Fingers OR Introducing Lincoln Josiah

2011-09-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

Lincoln Josiah, my newest nephew, was born this past Sunday morning, the 25th of September 2011. He was an easy and smooth delivery and my sister was thrilled! He was a perfect 7lbs 3oz and 19.5" long.

I finished knitting his gift at about midnight, and at about midnight my sister's water broke. I am really beginning to think I have been given a supernatural knitting gift. Does God grant such things? Probably not, but the timing was still impeccable. Below you can see Lincoln and his two friends: I made him the dog (though I don't think it is a very good picture of him) and my sister made the darling felt giraffe (remember our Monster Family from last Christmas?). Despite his appearance in this picture he is overjoyed by the companionship. Trust me.

And now my sister is part of a family of four. And I think this suits them very well. "The Foreman Four" has a nice ring, don't you think?

A Good Heart

2011-09-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

That's what our Little Guy has, is a good heart. Several weeks ago she had her fetal echocardiogram and despite the hassle and headache she caused the technician, her heart looked fantastic. She was, once again, extremely active but also very unwilling to allow a good view of her heart. The sonographer was bumping my belly, rotating me so my feet where well above my head, had me use the bathroom twice . . . And still, LG remained obstinate. And please keep in mind that a fetal echocardiogram requires many measurements, well beyond a standard growth and anatomy scan. In the end, all measurements were attained and the much relieved tech was, I think, happy to see us leave.

The brief meeting with the doctor afterward told us what we had already gathered, LG's heart looked completely normal for her fetal stage of development. Additionally, the growth and anatomy scan that preceded the echo confirmed the same thing. She was in the 45th percentile for weight/size, planting her firmly in the "average" category. Hallelujah!

I return in two more weeks for what may be my final ultrasound. There is no concern that precipitates having this scan, it is merely a precaution given my history and the still somewhat unknown feature of carrying a child with VHL.

Meanwhile, my sister is expected to deliver her second son pretty much any day now. The family is in eager anticipation, and I am knitting his "welcome to the world" gift. I joke that he will not come until I am finishing his present. Neither Daxton nor Veda decided to come until I was literally making the final stitches to their gifts. (And perhaps this is why Daxton waited until 41 weeks to make his appearance! Hmmm . . . Better get stitchin'!)

The Vedabug

2011-08-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

At some time, quite a while ago now, we condensed the name for our second daughter to "Vedabug" (coming from Lovebug and Veda). And this seems to suit her to perfection. To me, Vedabug conjures images of utter cuteness combined with an often shockingly subtle approach followed by a quick sharp sting. For example, she sits in wait for her sister to leave her crackers unattended. And then she ever so quietly, and without drawing any notice to herself, maneuvers to the bowl of crackers left on the table. Sometimes she gets lucky and quickly scarfs whatever is left. But if she reaches her prize and discovers the bowl empty she looks up with this look of shock and disbelief and gives me a look that screams, "I have been cheated!"

Veda is doing well, very well. She had her 18 month wellness check recently and she looked great. She is still somewhat small, weighing about 21 1/2 lbs. and reaching nearly 32" in length, but statistically she has leveled off and remains very consistent from one appointment to the next. She has a very sharp sort of personality. She is so laid back about a lot of stuff and then there will be something that will just totally turn her inside out and topsy turvy. She is happy and I think all is well and then before I can even begin to guess what has gone wrong she is angry-- and I mean ANGRY. She cools off quickly (unlike her sister) but when her temper flares, it is sometimes best to stand clear. Veda will fight with me and insist on her way in a manner that Sylvia has never done. Sometimes it really can just come down to strength: I am larger, the purse is mine, and I will remove that purse from your little body no matter how much you clench and scream "MINE, MINE, MINE!"

Are these "bad traits?" Not necessarily. I have told her many times that she had better get control of her anger now because it is just not worth the expenditure of energy. She does not yet seem to understand this. And I suspect it will take a very long time before she will. But I really admire her fight. She will not let someone take her down, no matter how big or strong or powerful they may be. She will stand up for herself. At least, this is the aspect of her personality that I hope to encourage. She has a strong will, both of my girls do, but I love seeing how they exert themselves in ways that are totally unique to them.

I am so in love with my children. They are each so different and vibrant. They make me smile and laugh while at the same time giving me endless amounts of frustration. There are points during every single day that I am ready to pull my hair out. But then I turn around and Sylvia tries to tell me, actually vocalizes the words (such a tremendous feat for her), she's sorry and that she loves me. And Vedabug comes to me and pulls my leg and stares up at me with these big, blue, pleading eyes and says "Up." And after lifting her she gives me a hug and then buries her little head in my shoulder. I am not sure it is possible to love anything or anyone as much as I do my little girls.

Over Half Way There!

2011-08-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

Dave and I attended the wedding of a dear old friend of mine two weeks ago. It was a gorgeous wedding on the beaches of Lake Michigan. Here are the two of us enjoying the beach, enjoying the hot weather and our feet in the cool water, and also enjoying being over half way to LG's debut!

I had my 20 week scan a couple of weeks ago and LG continues to look great! She is growing well and I am becoming more and more uncomfortable as she kicks and squirms and does whatever else she does to occupy herself. Heartburn has finally set in with full force, the back pain is beginning and my energy level is beginning to decrease. But I am not complaining. I am thrilled that LG is doing well and that I am doing well too. The normal aches and pains of pregnancy are welcomed by me and I remain optimistic that maybe, just maybe, this pregnancy will be smooth and without major complications.

We did learn late last week that the genetic testing came back positive. LG has VHL. While this is not our first choice for any of our children, we are comfortable with the results. We gave a lot of thought and consideration and ran through a number of "what if" situations before we even considered having children. We know that some unique trials and struggles are in our future, but every parent is faced with this same possibility. We feel fortunate that we already have an advance notice.

And right now we are just thankful for my health, LG's health and are eager for the day we get to meet our newest little girl.

Too Funny (a.k.a. Sock Humor)

2011-07-16T04:31:00.000-07:00

Sylvia loves socks. She loves to tell you what is on her socks. She loves to undo a pair of socks from the little bundle I make them into when folding laundry. She loves to pull them all out of her drawer, take them apart and bring them to bed with her. She loves to put on several pair at a time. Sylvia loves socks.

The other night when we went in to change her before going to bed we found her with 16 pair of socks on her feet! 16 PAIR, 32 SOCKS total! They were not all matching pairs, and I was impressed that she had the exact same number on both feet.

Part of the reason that Sylvia likes putting socks on so much is that it is one fine motor activity that she "gets." She knows how to put on socks and it gives her a sense of independence. She also thinks it's funny. Fortunately, we caught her before she had two feet that had fallen asleep!

All About "Little Guy"

2011-07-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

Early last week I had the amniocentesis to check for the genetic disease "owned" by both Dave and Sylvia. We also always have a basic chromosome analysis done to check for other common genetic mutations. Typically we have results from the basic chromosome count the day following the amnio. This year, however, they decided to run a full analysis of the chromosomes, resulting in a 7-10 day waiting period for results. (Please keep in mind that the results for VHL testing take 4-6 weeks.)

These pictures are from the ultrasound that takes place prior to the amnio. Baby looked good and baby was active! We have always had active children during ultrasounds but I do not believe we have had one this active before. It was kind of fun to watch but it also terrified me as we really needed baby to calm down before they put a huge needle inside of me and within millimeters of my baby! Fortunately, by the time of the amnio, baby was sleeping soundly. (Phew!) The tech had a hard time getting a decent measurement of anything and the best information she could give was that baby was weighing in at about 5 oz. This was a good weight for baby's gestational age. We got a guess to baby's gender, but again, with that much movement there was never the opportunity to really see things clearly. The tech said that while baby looked one way, she was hesitant to give any kind of an affirmation. Having seen over 30 ultrasounds myself I agreed with her gender prediction but also understood why she was hesitant to offer confirmation-- this kid was simply unable to keep still for even one instant!

Today I contacted the high risk maternity office and learned that results were in from the amnio and that the genetics counselor would be giving me a call later in the afternoon. Baby's chromosome count came back normal! This news makes Dave and me so happy. Additionally, we got confirmation that we are about to welcome into our home another girl! Dave and I were not surprised and excited to learn at the ultrasound that it looked like we had another daughter on the way. And much like when we were expecting Veda, we once again have a girl name picked out but had no clue as to what we would name a son. And, yeah, I realize the name Little Guy doesn't really make sense, but I don't want to change it. It is how I have been referring to her for a few months already. (And I really hate the word "gal.") Perhaps we will start calling her "LG." That would work for me, but in my heart she will always be my Little Guy.

Summer Moves Forward

2011-07-12T06:11:00.000-07:00

Summer is plodding forward this year. It has been a rough one. There has been so much rain and once the rain clears, the mosquitoes appear. This may be our worst mosquito year to date. We have stuff we put in our ponds and we try to tip over any standing water, but when you live in a wetland there is only so much that can be done. We can't drain the woods! So, to the girls, getting to play outdoors is a special treat. Sad, but true.

But we have been making it work. We have plenty of indoor activities and the girls always seem to create new ones. Whether or not they are always mom-approved is another story! A few weeks ago the kids wanted an impromptu fashion shoot with a new chair that Grandma had brought. Above and below are the results.

Sylvia is the hardest to get on camera now. (As I can no longer say "on film!") She does this quick 2 sec. pose and then comes rushing over to look at herself on the camera screen. No matter how many times or in how many ways I try to explain to her that she needs to wait a little longer (until after she hears the "click"), she still rushes prematurely to get a glimpse of the photograph that wasn't taken yet or that shows a single arm rushing from the shot.

Veda is an absolute scream sometimes. She currently loves cars and trucks. She loves making them go "beep, beep" and she also has this really deep growl/gurgle for engine noise. But her girly-ness comes through when she insists on making sure that someone is always driving the vehicle. It needn't necessarily be a person, a chicken will do! And, in fact, sometimes only the chicken will do, as was the case in the above incident. She desperately wanted that chicken driving this construction truck, but the chicken kept flying out of it. She would get so angry. So, I would try and be helpful and put a person in instead, as the person could be secured inside the vehicle. Well, that made her even MORE angry! So, she spent about twenty minutes driving and then yelling at the chicken and shoving her back in the truck and then driving again.

And this is Sylvia's play. She is very interested in making family connections. Everywhere we go there is a baby (or "Za-Za," what she calls herself) and a mama. "Za-Za" and mama always "match," as is in the above picture. The big pony/horse is the mama and the little horse is "Za-Za." The white furry bear is the daddy and the little jaguar is "Baby" (in this case she means Veda). And, yes, she really calls herself "Za-Za."

That is really about it for the news around here. We will have more concerning Little Guy soon, but for now just enjoy the antics of the older two!

The Secret Revealed

2011-06-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

I realize I have been more than a little negligent in posting on our blog, but I have been a little tired lately. A little nauseated too.

The above is a picture of our no. 3. That's our "secret revealed!"

I am currently in my 13th week of pregnancy (or the beginning of the second trimester). While we have named baby, "Little Guy," we do not actually know a gender yet. I had my third scan this morning and Dave was thrilled to be able to join me. He hasn't been involved in any of the prenatal stuff yet and he always feels more connected after he gets to see baby in action. And baby was in action! (I always seem to have very active children during scans.) Today we saw him opening and closing "his" mouth, kicking and stretching, and waving "his" little arms about.

I also felt my first confirmed baby movement today. There have been a couple of times in the past week when I have wondered if I felt baby, but this morning on our drive to the doctor I definitely felt a very faint, but familiar "thump, thump." Very cool.

This above picture is looking down on Little Guy. The left arm is on the top, face to the left of that and right arm swiping across the right cheek. We have named him Little Guy because I am convinced that this must be a boy. As mentioned, we have no confirmed gender yet, but today's heart rate was the lowest of any of my children. We'll see what the amniocentesis tells us in three weeks!

Yes, we are doing another amnio to check for Dave and Sylvia's genetic disease, Von Hippel-Lindau Disease. When I was pregnant with Sylvia I was quite certain she had the disease. When I was pregnant with Veda I was quite certain she didn't. I was correct both times. This time I have no feeling either way.

I am a softie for feet pictures. Perhaps if you have been reading long enough you have gathered this about me already. We got a really great foot view today, but the sonographer wasn't able to print a picture of it. But we still got this above shot. There are those little legs and feet hanging out on the right hand side, already beginning to kick me.

I am doing well. The first ten or eleven weeks were rough, but since then I have had a little more energy and haven't been feeling as sick. There is one small concern. Today's scan confirmed placenta previa (the placenta is covering the cervix). There had been suspicions before but it isn't until about the 13th week that the location of the placenta in relation to the uterus can be viewed on ultrasound. There are no huge threats or concerns. It just means I can't lift, pull, push, or do heavy exercise. Generally the placenta "moves" up and away by about the 26th week. [Technically, the uterus expands, the placenta does not actually move.] So, we'll just keep tabs and see what happens.

I realize this news may be rather surprising to many of you. It kind of was to us too, but we are very excited to welcome our newest family member in early-mid December!

Those Who Make Me Mom

2011-05-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

These two cuties are who make me a mom. I am so blessed to have them in my life. I realize this mom sentiment is a bit belated, as the official day of recognition is now behind us, but I figure every day can be a Mother's Day. (And blogger was refusing to upload my photos on Sunday.)

My children have changed me in ways that I never could have imagined. I knew, and was probably too aware, of how much my life would change after having children. But I don't think I had any idea just how much I would change. For the most part, my own needs and wants have happily taken a backseat to the needs and wants of my children. I am also suddenly full of curiosity about how children develop and have been avidly searching for information regarding brain development and have devoured information regarding Sylvia's special needs. While an all natural and organic lifestyle has always appealed to me, it was only after having children that I began to do thorough research and decided to change our lifestyle in a drastic way. There is something about having one child who has, as the doctor calls, "the most hypersensitive skin" she has ever seen and another child with an array of special needs, that suddenly makes you call into question what we consume and surround ourselves with in our homes.

But probably the most obvious and immense way in which I have changed is that I have discovered a brand new love. I now know what it means to have a compulsive, uncontrollable sort of love. I choose to love my husband and my friends and family. I got to know them and then I fell in love with them. My children are different. They were born and I began to love-- instantly. I struggled severely with PPD after Sylvia was born but even then I felt an overwhelming love for my daughter. I cannot help but love my children. This kind of love is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.

And so, while it is a little late, Happy Mother's Day to all mothers everywhere. To any woman who has felt the compulsory love I am talking about, my thoughts are with you today and every day.

Our One Day of Spring

2011-04-26T05:23:00.000-07:00

This has been a hard late winter and early spring. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have been able to to take the girls outdoors to play. But a couple of weeks ago we were blessed with an absolutely gorgeous weekend and we took full advantage of it.

I love this picture. There is something about her little body walking away from me that just makes me smile when I see this shot. She was on a mission: To get to Daddy's rocks!

Dave has a collection of rocks by the fire pit. I am not sure what he intends to do with them, but he is always out there collecting rocks. He has all sorts of dreams: A rock wall, a larger fire pit, a rock garden. Perhaps one day one or two of these dreams will come to fruition, but in the meantime, we just have a lot of rocks!

For those of you wondering, Veda is not yet walking. She is so close and she has indeed taken a few steps here and there, but there has still been no consistent attempts to master the biped move.

One of my most favorite things about spring is the frogs. I simply love hearing the frogs sing. I am going to try and post a little video snippet from my walk, but I am not sure our internet connection will allow me to do so. But here I am on my way to take a listen to the frogs.

Happy Spring!

"What?!"

2011-04-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

"Who says you have to be neat to eat?"

Cow Invasion!

2011-03-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday morning I was looking out the window admiring several deer in our backyard. There were about nine of them grazing and they all seemed so peaceful. It was very serene. And then all of those relaxed deer started to tense up a little and then I saw them begin to swiftly walk east. I went up to the window for a closer look. I saw what looked like a large deer begin to come out of the woods, but as the animal drew more fully into the open I saw that this was no deer. This was a large and kind of shaggy cow!

Our yard was invaded by four cows. These large animals casually traipsed through our backyard and then through our side yard where Sylvia got to watch them (with glee!) from her bedroom window. Finally they rounded to the front of our house and eventually walked down our driveway and out onto the street. The last I saw they had crossed the road and had wandered into the woods.

We are not sure where they came from, but we think they must have gotten loose from a hobby farm. I tried calling the sheriff's office, but the first number I called gave me this recorded message: "The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected . . " The second number I tried calling gave me this message: "We are currently closed. Our regular business hours are . . ."

Yep. Life in the country is never dull.

Oh! And both our girls can now tell you what a cow says, "Mmmmmm!" (Because, yes, Veda imitates her sister before she will imitate us.)

Pajama Trends

2011-03-28T19:32:00.000-07:00

Veda does not know how to wear her pajamas. She never has and at this point I am beginning to suspect that she never will. Every single morning when I go in to get her she has her pajamas on incorrectly. Often both legs are caught in the body of her pajamas and the legs hang empty. Sometimes she has both legs stuffed down her left leg. Other times she has her left leg in her left pant leg but her right leg is caught in the body. And sometimes she has her right leg in her left pant leg and her left leg caught in the body.

But probably the look she is most proud of is when she can manage to get her left leg in her right pant leg and her right leg in her left pant leg. See above and below.

And if you think this was a one time occurrence, you are mistaken:

More of What I Do

2011-03-05T20:43:00.000-08:00

I suppose I wanted to "toot my own horn" but I thought I would share what I made Daxton and Veda for their first birthdays. The above is a sweater vest and matching bow tie I made Dax. I think he looks rather handsome in this set:

And for the Vedabug I made her a cabled owl sweater:

It would be really adorable if I sewed buttons on all the owl eyes, but I am not certain that is such a good idea for a child still young enough to want to eat carpet fiber from the floor. I could also embroider the owl faces, but that just sounded like too much work and my embroidery is not very good. The bottom line is that I like the sweater as is, and I am proud of it, and if I attempt to do anything else to it I may not like it as much. Besides, she still looks pretty gosh darn cute in it. Cute enough, in fact, that she had her one year pictures taken today wearing this sweater.

Outdoor Fun and Snazzy Outfit

2011-02-27T19:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Dave took the girls out to play in the snow late in the afternoon. It has been a rough winter for outdoor play because we have almost always had too much snow for the girls to be in. Even as it was, Sylvia still could hardly walk around in the stuff and their time outside was rather short as a result. But it was so cute watching the three of them walk around with even more flakes falling on them. In the above picture Veda is waving at me.

And here both of my girls are saying, "Hi, Mama!"

We had Veda so dressed up she was like a little snow monster. First, it was very cold and I was worried about our youngest getting too chilled as she would not be doing any walking around to warm her little body. Second, the only snow pants we had were what Sylvia wore last year. Well, the Pumpkin was quite a bit larger than what the Lovebug is, so Veda was swimming in them. But even if she couldn't move, she was so cute!

After all of the day's excitement, and the girls had had their baths and were in their pajamas, Sylvia decided to accessorize. It is hard to see, but in addition to the hat she is also wearing her gold sparkly shoes.

I think she does this because not only does she love being able to dress herself in these items, but also because she thinks she looks awesome in them! And I would have to agree.

The Lunchbox

2011-02-26T05:28:00.000-08:00

I was doing toy cleanup the other night after the girls were in bed. I was collecting various Little People pieces, belonging to Sylvia, that go with this:

I am very glad I am so uptight about keeping toys in sets together because when I opened this little box, I found this:

Yes, she had packed herself a lunch: Sippy, half eaten apple and a dalmatian.

Winter Days

2011-02-04T19:10:00.000-08:00

We have been cooped up for a while now. Between the weather and having only one vehicle, we haven't been out of the house much. For the most part, this is all right. The girls and I have had a lot of fun some days. Currently, Sylvia is going through an "all mommy, all the time" phase. Just now I went in to her room to say goodnight (after coming home from knitting-- my first "me" outing in three weeks). I lied on the bed next to her and talked with her about her evening. And then when I got up to leave, she pulled me back down and slammed her hand down on the side of my head, placing my face back onto her pillow. Kind of sweet. Kind of funny. Kind of irritating.

Sylvia is also going through more, what I call, "growing pains." She has been testing the boundaries a lot again lately. We are trying a rewards approach this time. She currently has a set of Elmo utensils taped to her bedroom wall. She also has a six day chart taped to her wall. For every morning she wakes up and she has not played in her dresser drawers during the night she gets one sticker for her chart and one for her to wear. After six days, she gets her Elmo fork and spoon. We'll see what happens.

Veda is sick. She got a pretty nasty cold virus AND she has four teeth on top all trying to poke through right now. She has been a pretty grumpy little girl and I don't blame her. But it did mean that I was up with her most of last night. She would start to scream, so I would go in and comfort her. She would drift to sleep. About forty minutes later she would wake up again-- either from pain or trouble breathing --and begin to scream again. I knew she was truly uncomfortable and scared so I had to be in there with her. And I needed to make sure Dave could at least sleep. But it did make for a long night.

An interesting side note: When I was filing Veda's stats from her twelve month wellness check, I also flipped through Sylvia's old numbers. Upon doing so, I discovered that Sylvia had the exact same measurements at nine months as Veda did at twelve.

Veda is also beginning to climb! She now climbs on top of the girls' little picnic table and she adores their little chairs in the living room. She loves being able to climb in and out and to stand on them:

Truly, both of my kids are fun kids. And I love spending time with them. They make me laugh a lot. And when the days are rough I just keep cycling my little chant in my mind: "I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids." And then I pray that nap time not only arrives soon, but that both girls will sleep for the same time for at least long enough for me to use the bathroom and drink a cup of coffee in silence!

Birthday Bash

2011-01-31T17:52:00.000-08:00

Veda had a wonderful birthday party this past Saturday. Thanks to having just recently received Christmas presents, attending her cousin's birthday party only one week earlier, and having an older sister to show her how it's done, she was eager to dive into her presents! We had them stacked up and she kept crawling over there to pick at them.

Auntie Stephie made her cake. We love Auntie Stephie because she always comes up with the cutest cake designs. This was the first cake she made up completely on her own, no ideas from any internet sources for this one! Isn't it adorable?

Her big sister was taking a late nap, and it was kind of nice. Veda got to open her presents by herself and could see what everything was without having an older sister swooping in to take it away from her! And she got some great presents (just ask her!):

She really likes having her very own Babydoll (like Sylvia's, Babydoll came from Oma and Opa). Tonight when we put her to bed, we placed Babydoll in her crib with her. She lifted her head, saw her Babydoll, grabbed her and hugged her tight. She got an Elmo puppet yesterday from her Grandma and Grumpy, and I was surprised by how excited she was to see that she got an Elmo. But I guess I shouldn't be. Her sister has a couple of Elmos, and sibling rivalry is already in full force!

And let's not forget about eating the cake! She was very intrigued by her cake and grabbed some frosting while we sang happy birthday. After her piece was cut and put on her tray she attempted to fool us with some initial daintiness but that didn't last long!

Today was her 12 month wellness check. She looks great! She weighed 18lbs. and 13oz. (15th percentile) and was 29" long (around the 50th percentile). The only current concern, albeit a minor one, is how sensitive her skin is. She seems to react to everything she touches. I cut tags from her clothes, wash laundry with Dreft, and now we are hunting down a lotion her doctor suggested using called California Baby. Despite all of this, she still reacts when we wipe her bottom with a wet wipe, always has little bumps when buttons/snaps come in contact with her skin, and often she will have a random rash that I cannot even begin to guess at what caused it. But if this is our largest worry, then I am happy to continue playing the allergy guessing game!

And now her Daddy would like to write a word . . .

I just wanted to write a post-happy birthday post for Veda. She's been such a fun big little girl to get to know. Lately she's been charging at me when I get home, which is lots and lots of fun. She still just crawls but usually when I come through the door she looks up, gives her little squeal/growl and comes crawling at me at top speed. I love watching her explore her world, play (and fight) with her sister, and begin to get into trouble. I'm really lucky that I get to be her daddy. Happy birthday lovebug, I love you bunches and bunches and bunches

Big Week!

2011-01-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

Do you know what this is a picture of? This is a picture of a one-year-old girl. And do you know who this girl is? I know you will be shocked when I reveal that this is Lovebug. My little Veda, also affectionately known as the VedaBug, had her first birthday today.

I know nearly every parent who has ever existed cannot help but stand stunned when they look at how their children have grown. And there is probably not a parent today nor from yesterday who can comprehend just how quickly time flies by. But time does move forward and my baby is now acting more like the toddler she is than the baby she was.

I think she had a pretty spiffy first birthday. She got a phone call from her Oma Ria from the Netherlands. I know she does not remember her, but she did smile and babble a bit while I had Ria on speakerphone. She also had a visit from her cousin, Dax (who turned a year just one week earlier) and her Auntie Stephie. And she had her very own birthday book read to her this evening, Birthday Monsters by Sandra Boynton. But probably the highlight of her day was taking her first bath in the full tub. She even got to take her bath with her sister, who insisted, absolutely insisted, that Veda get to join her. When Dave let Veda go in the tub she began splashing immediately and did not stop. Ever. She splashed from beginning to end. She splashed her entire way around the tub. She splashed with one hand, she splashed with two. She splashed with her sister, she splashed without her. Veda just could not stop splashing the water!

By the time the bath was over her little heart was racing and she was panting! But at least she should sleep well tonight!

But Veda is not the only one who had a major life event this week. Her older sister started school! Sylvia has begun therapy for some speech and motor delays and in addition to her once a week in-home therapy, she also has class on Tuesdays for an hour and a half. This past Tuesday was her first day. We made a pretty big deal about it and I even found this adorable backpack:

She loved school. She was very excited to go, but there were a couple things that made her nervous. First, we had to take Grandma's car to school because Daddy needed our car to get to work. Second, I don't think she realized that school was in a building she had never been in before. She walked very slowly into the building and when I started to take off her coat (to put in her locker, yes, her locker!) she nearly lost it, she was so scared. But then one of the teachers opened the door to her classroom, revealing the toys inside. I have never seen such an instantaneous change in anyone before. She zoomed off and didn't stop until it was time to go home. I even got to sneak away and take a peak at the lending library. So, for at least the next year, she (and Veda and I) have school. [Siblings get to come, but it was very nice to have Grandma come and stay with Veda so Sylvia and I could do her first day with just the two of us.]

Birthday shindigs are this weekend, so more to come!

Because I Need to Smile

2011-01-15T21:57:00.000-08:00

We have had several trials lately and after an event this morning we are left feeling very frustrated with life. But also very glad to have it. Dave got into a car accident on his way in to work this morning. It was a serious accident. But the only fatality was our car. For that we are extremely grateful.

Please be thinking of us. Our family requires two vehicles (another hazard of living "in the middle of nowhere"). Our family also does not have the means to acquire another family car. But like I said, no matter how frustrated we are with life, we are also very thankful we have a life to be frustrated with.

I want to post a couple of recent pictures of the girls that just make me smile. I hope they do the same for you.

I do find it funny that the pictures of my girls that make me smile are the pictures where my girls are not smiling!

And They Lived . . .

2011-01-06T22:31:00.000-08:00

It can sometimes be very cold and lonely up here. Frequently the girls and I are the only humans residing in the area. It can be kind of creepy in a weird Shining sort of way.

Perhaps it is the week itself that is leaving me with this hollow feeling. One year ago I was in the hospital, having gone into preterm labor a couple of days prior. After two days of a steady IV of my *most favorite* medication, labor ceased. Or, at least, "productive contractions" had ceased. Sylvia and I moved in with my parents, I began to take medication every four hours around the clock, and Dave returned home-- an hour away from us. I was on total bed rest. I could not care for my child. And I only saw my husband on the weekends. And on top of all of that, I was worried about my Lovebug.

It was one of the longest months of my life. And it was a solid month from the time I left my home after waking up with blood everywhere to when I walked back through my front door, post surgery, with my two beautiful and amazing daughters.

During one especially hard night at my parents', I uttered a desperate prayer. I envisioned this enormous looming wave of depression just waiting to come rushing at me. It was a battle of forces and I no longer had the strength or energy to continue warding off this surge. I needed my child to be born and for my family to be together. I told God I had only one week of fight left in me after which time the wave would engulf me.

I expressed all of this to my doctor at my next appointment. She listened to every word. And she heard me. She said she knew if I was expressing this kind of distress, then something needed to be done. She explained she took my words seriously because I never talked unless it was significant. She arranged the best plan she could: Another amniocentesis a couple days prior to 37 weeks gestation to check for lung development and then surgery at 37 weeks.

I did feel better afterward because a definite end was in sight, but I had told God earlier in the week that I only had one week left in me. It was now Friday. And my new surgery date was still two weeks away.

After one more hospitalization, things reached a rare kind of calm. I felt pretty good early the next week and by Tuesday evening I was in labor. Exactly one week had passed since the time I had pleaded with God.

My labor was good. It was manageable all the way until I was in the operating room, at which point I just really wanted them to put in that spinal block! Dave just barely made it in time for surgery, but he was there. My daughter was born and she looked good enough that the doctor held her over the sheet and said, "Happy Birthday!" Dave even got to carry her to the NICU. (He likes to remind her that she peed on him during this trip.)

I recovered in my room, during which the nurse was explaining various things to me. I remember nothing she said except the following, " . . . when baby gets to come home, and baby will not be coming home with you . . ." Strangely, I felt an internal smirk and the distinct thought, "Oh, yes she will!" Her comment seemed absurd to me. My preterm baby and I were leaving together. Three days later we did.

While the ending of this tale is a "happily every after," I think January will always have an emptiness to it for me. It is cold and brutal and it is very lonely up here. And there is this pervasive feeling of waiting. Just waiting. And waiting. And waiting for a birth.

Waiting for new life.

Another Knitting Christmas

2010-12-28T21:32:00.000-08:00

Yes, I did a lot of knitting this year. There are other projects completed during this holiday season that are not even represented here (such as a baby hat for a friend's unborn child, another child's hat for a friend's daughter and such). But I am not the only one who was busy creating gifts. My sister made a family of Monsters:

To see my family represented in Monster form in closer view:

I think you should be able to figure out who Dave is and who I am. The Pumpkin is Pink and Lovebug is yellow/orange. The Monsters were a hit with everyone, but I think Lovebug may have been the most excited out of all of us. She saw her Monster sitting on top of her present and grabbed for her immediately, ripping her off the package, and promptly putting her in her mouth. Now, that's love!

Christmas Blessing

2010-12-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

I just left Lovebug's room. And my eyes are a little moist.

In the last couple of weeks she has taken huge milestones in her gross motor skills. She had been starting to lag in development, but as babies often do, she suddenly began crawling on all fours, could sit up on her own, and also pull herself to standing. The standing thing is still very new, and when she's up, she is never sure how to get herself back down.

She was in her bed screaming. Again. She had pulled herself to standing, but of course, did not know how to get back down (have I mentioned the word 'again' yet?). I finally relented and went in there to find this petite little girl standing in her crib clinging to the rails, her eyes barely managing to peek over the top bar with tears streaming down her chubby little cheeks. When she saw me a sudden wave of relief washed over that precious little face and a small smile began to spread, revealing her two little teeth (the second one brand new). I picked her up, changed her diaper, restarted her lullaby music, held her against my chest, and began to rock with her while standing. She sank her little head into my shoulder, clinging to the owl I had knit for her just prior to her birth. The owl that kept her company in the NICU when I could not. She was still and hushed in my arms and completely relaxed. She felt safe and secure and happy.

It is this moment that I wish I could put in a bottle and pull it back out whenever I need it. I want to be able to relive this moment with my Veda when she yells and screams at me that she hates me or tells me I am being "so unfair" when she enters her surly preteen years. I want to relive this moment when she gets her heart broken for the first time and I realize there is nothing I can do to make her feel better. I want to relive this moment when she leaves the house for college, graduates, gets married . . . I will always want to have this moment with my baby back.

But I cannot bottle this, or any other moment, and take it back out whenever I need to or want to. I only have my memories, which I can transcribe into words. And these words can be recorded in writing that may live for years and years. This is the only bottle I have, and I hope to keep filling it.

Big Girl Bed Adventures

2010-12-21T14:41:00.000-08:00

For Sylvia's second birthday she received a set of bunk beds from her Grandma and Grumpy. A few weeks after her birthday Dave had the day off work and he put together her new bed, while I took the girls to the mall. I had been talking to Sylvia about her "big girl" bed for a while to get her prepared for her transition from crib to twin bed. But no coaching was needed: She was SUPER excited when she got home and saw her new bed.

Since then, we have been playing "Find Our Child" each night when we go in to check on her and change her diaper. She loves her bed, but she also loves her new freedom. These are a few of the places/ways we have found her sleeping in the last couple of weeks:

But sometimes she gets it right:

A History Through Christmas Trees

2010-12-05T12:34:00.000-08:00

On this day in history, in 2004, Dave and I had been married for one day. I was coming down with strep, and we were surrounded by our wedding presents from the day before. Today, six years later, I am recovering from bronchitis and we are surrounded by laundry. But on both days we were/are sitting by our Christmas tree:

Our original tree had been purchased the morning of our marriage by Dave and his best man, Dan (his cousin). It was a pre-lit, multi-light tree that stood 6' tall. After our wedding reception we began to head to our awkwardly shaped, third floor apartment located in Heritage Hill of Grand Rapids. But as we approached the interstate I realized we had left the quintessential Christmas tree decorating cd back at the Baert Baron Mansion (where we had been wed). We made a quick turn-around and after safely securing Merry Christmas (recently retitled White Christmas) with Bing Crosby, we headed home (my new home), and decorated our first Christmas tree.

Our current Christmas tree stands 7.5' tall. It is not pre-lit, and I wrestled with the three strands of lights I put on it for quite a while yesterday afternoon-- after Dave had to make an emergency trip to buy more lights. I tripped over cats and baby toys and had to keep reminding the two-year-old that Christmas trees are for looking at and not touching. But later in the evening, after both children were finally in bed, we popped in old Bing and decorated our tree together. Earlier in the evening we watched the video of our wedding ceremony during which I realized three things: 1. Our pastor was long-winded in prayer. 2. I was gorgeous back then. And 3. My love for Dave was overflowing, just as it is now.

We had another Christmas tree in between that first one and our current:

This is the tree that saw us through our last apartment. It is about 3.5' tall, takes only one strand of lights, and was perfect for our little living room with its multitude of bookshelves. This tree was used during our last Christmases as a family of only two. Those were special days together and comprise probably the most relaxing period of our relationship to date. We were very comfortable living with one another in tight quarters, we were both in good places vocationally, and we had easy access to a great coffee shop downtown. We had three cats, three birds and three fish, but were contemplating adding a human to the mix. It was here that our journey toward parenthood began.

I am not sure when this little tree came into our home, but I seem to remember it sitting on our dresser in our spacious, third floor, over looking downtown apartment. While my love for Dave was abounding and our relationship strong, I most closely associate stress (and then subsequent freedom) with this time in our relationship. I was working a job that was slowly killing me, and I came home from one of the worst working days ever on a Saturday in November. I told Dave that I needed to quit. This is one of the largest leaps of faith we have ever taken as a couple. I was the primary breadwinner for our household. Dave had been unemployed for much of the year and was currently working an hourly wage job with unreliable hours. But we both agreed that I needed to be out of my current situation. We went to the calendar and circled a date six months down the road and agreed that I would be done with my job by this time. We began to down size everything and I was able to quit two months ahead of schedule. While our finances were painfully small, we were both much happier (and healthier).

Perhaps this was a remarkable turning point for us. It was here that we both knew our priorities would always include relationships at the top. We knew that time truly beat out money and that happiness could be found by instilling love and energy into friends, family and most importantly, each other.

Guess what? We are still painfully poor, but we are remarkably happy and love radiates from this house. It is seen in the smiles of my children, the hugs between Dave and his girls, and the late evenings talking with my husband. It is evident in the toys strewn about, the crayon marks on the cupboards, and a dinner table covered in crumbs. Our animals are content and our door is always open to welcome anyone in. I love this life, and I love my husband for deciding to head with me on this journey.

Some of What I'm Thankful For

2010-11-25T16:38:00.000-08:00

Going to Knitting

2010-10-31T20:15:00.000-07:00

Almost every week Mama leaves us one night and goes to "knitting." I decided that I really wanted to go. So, one week I grabbed my purse, filled it with three blocks (because I am not entirely sure what one brings to knitting), went to blow a kiss to Daddy and pat him on the knee, and then headed for the door. But then Mama said that I did not get to go to knitting. I was very sad.

But the very next week, my birthday weekend, Mama had a surprise for me. She said I got to go to knitting! And then she gave me the neatest thing ever: My own knitting bag!

I was so excited to go to knitting! Here I am giving Daddy a goodbye kiss with my brand new knitting bag over my shoulder.

Daddy walked me out to the car. After he put me in my car seat he wanted to give me kisses and stuff but I wanted to go, so I pushed him out of the way! I held onto my knitting bag the entire way.

When I got to knitting I met lots of very nice people, and even two little girls named Tiffany and Barbara. And Miss Loraine came with a balloon (I loved the balloon and I still play with it almost every day), and a bag full of presents (including some more things for my knitting bag), but the absolute best part was that Miss Loraine brought me cupcakes!!! The only bad thing is that Mama only let me eat ONE. Can you believe that?! I made sure everyone else got one, but there were still so many left. I could have had lots more.

This is Miss Loraine showing me how to use a music box. It is pretty cool because it plays a pretty song when you twist this little handle. I can't quite do it by myself yet, but I bet I can by next year!

I loved going to knitting, and I really hope I get to go again. Especially if there are more cupcakes!

What My Mama Made Me

2010-10-28T21:15:00.000-07:00

Do you remember last year about this time? I had a birthday then. Guess what?! I had another one this year! Can you believe it-- a birthday every year?! I thought last year was pretty cool, but this year was so much cooler. In fact, I had an entire birthday weekend.

But I am a pretty little person and I can only do little posts at a time, so I will start by telling you about one of my birthday presents. My mama made me this play vest. In fact, she made it all by herself. She came up with what she wanted to make, and then she got some paper and did some writing and then she would knit and sometimes she had to pull out some of what she had already knit (she calls it "ripping" and she is never very happy when she is doing it, but I think it looks like fun!), and finally this is what she made me!

Don't I look great in it?

Flyin' By and Sayin' Hi!

2010-10-24T21:56:00.000-07:00

We are well. I think. Some days it is hard for me to remember. We have a two-year-old now and my understanding is that she would like to tell you all about her big day. So once she has her thoughts sorted she will be with you. In the meantime, Lovebug wanted to flash you all a smile.

The Mighty Have Fallen

2010-10-05T20:22:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago a poplar was blown over in one of the massive windstorms we had. Nearly two weeks later some of my family came up for a visit and we all went out to check on the fallen tree:

The tree is on the right of the pond, that mound of dirt jutting into the air.

My mom and sister.

It created quite the "beach."

This is not of our fallen poplar but it is a pretty picture nonetheless.


My sister on top of the root bulb.

Rest in peace.

The Olympics

2010-09-25T18:23:00.000-07:00

Starting in the mid 1980's, my family has done the "Ertman Olympics." In more recent years, the event has taken place over Labor Day weekend. Various traditions have been added, such as wearing Groucho Marx glasses, but the general principles are goofy games with cheap, zany prizes. This year we had a new game. Some will know of it: An otherwise sealed box has a hole cut into it, has a specified number of balls inserted inside (for us, it was six). The box is then tied to the participant's waist and the player jumps and jiggles and wiggles to try and get as many balls out as possible within an allotted time (in our case 30 seconds).

The first video is a demonstration of how the game is done. Please observe Dave's stellar technique. This second video is the Pumpkin attempting it herself. She insisted on playing and I give her huge kudos for her remarkable moves!

Surrounded by Beauty

2010-09-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

Estranged from Beauty -- none can be --

For Beauty is Infinity --

~Emily Dickinson

"I sit now!"

2010-09-16T20:24:00.000-07:00

Yep. It's been a while since I have posted again. This time, however, I did manage to take some pictures during my hiatus. But then when I uploaded them all to my computer I felt myself getting lightheaded realizing how many I had to go through and edit and then figure out which ones were "blog worthy" and which ones told a good story, etc. So, I finally decided that I would create "mini posts" for a while. I will simply put up a few pictures relating to only one theme. Today's theme: Veda Sitting.

She has been sitting very well for a few weeks now, but as it has been that long since I last wrote no one even knows that! She loves this additional freedom, and she is very near to standing too. Sylvia was never all that interested in standing (although, she did love to jump), but Lovebug will want nothing but to stand. I will try and sit her down on the ground and she keeps those little legs of hers stick straight in protest. I think it won't be long and she will have the strength and balance to keep herself in that position for stretches of time. But one never knows with her. She is our "full of surprises" baby.

Reprise of The Old Man Pants

2010-08-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

For my long term readers, you may remember The Old Man Pants from Sylvia's early days. I found them back last week. You can probably do a simple search on my blog to learn the origins of the name given these pants but here it is in a nutshell: I put these pants on Sylvia when she still only weighed about seven pounds. They were enormous on her. I had them pulled up nearly under her arms and when I brought out the camera she gave me this look of absolute terror as if to say, "Oh, no, Mama! No! First, you humiliate me by putting me in these atrociously huge pants and NOW you want to take my picture to memorialize this?!"

As you can see, I found them at an appropriate age/weight for Veda and she just looks so stinkin' cute in them.

It is finally time to introduce the newest member of our family. I received a phone call from a friend in June about a little parrot named Duncan who needed a home within the next couple of days. Well, she caught me at the right time. The Friday before I had been at our little, itty bitty library. Our library is so small that I can go in and look at nearly any shelf and see several books that Dave and I have donated. I had been looking at cooking books and right next to them were the animal books (just in case you get desperate one evening and desire to cook your pet, I guess). And there I saw three of the parrot books we had donated after we had to rehome Chloe last year. I left the library feeling saddened and teary-eyed. Fast forward three days and I am being asked to invite another bird into our home. Of course I said yes.

Duncan, a masked face lovebird, is about six years old. He is very handsome and has adjusted to his new family very well. He already knows how to tease the cats mercilessly and Sylvia has begun to "help" me take care of him everyday. Welcome, Duncan!

And to add to the whole bird thing, I have been spending a lot of time feeding our outdoor birds. [Between my bird watching, passion for knitting, massive cardigan collection, love of mysteries (and most all other books) as well as for dramas such as Murder She Wrote and old films and television I am pretty much an old person just waiting for her body to catch up with her.] I have even begun to take pictures of some of my outdoor feathered friends:

I got a couple of shots of a pair of Blue Jays earlier today as well. I don't particularly care for these bully birds but they are still quite attractive. We also get a lot of woodpeckers at these feeders. I have to time things just right to get a picture of them, though.

Just my beautiful girls hanging out together. They remained quite friendly to one another until Daddy got home. When Daddy began to pay attention to Lovebug (after having spent time greeting the Pumpkin) Sylvia began to show her green monster again and attempted to shove her sister right off the couch! Lovebug was saved and the Pumpkin was given a reminder that Daddy loves them both. (And to be gentle to the baby.)

Okay. I know. This is an atrocious picture of me in my jammies with no make up. Ignore that part. Instead please observe that my eldest daughter is sitting with me and looking at . . .

A Knit Picks catalog! Goodness, I love this girl.

Sylvia Runs Away and the Solution to World Hunger

2010-08-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

So, I am back. And this time I have more pictures than I ever have had before. After the shame I felt with my last post realizing how few pictures I had taken over the course of two months, I quickly whipped out my camera and tried to make up for lost time. I think I may have nearly succeeded. The Little Pumpkin was frequently more than willing to help, as she would walk around the house and suddenly turn to pose (see above).

Speaking of the Pumpkin, this girl continues to make me smile and laugh every single day. I didn't know a person could evoke that from me so regularly. Her favorite song is "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and she even manages to do some of the hand motions:

She is also totally smitten with Sesame Street right now. Thanks to my mother-in-law we do have a decent Sesame Street video collection, so I am not watching the same dvd every evening before bedtime. But, so many of those same video clips are used again and again and again in that show . . . It reminded me of why I decided I "outgrew" Sesame Street when I was four; I was sick of the redundancy.

Sylvia continues to mimic nearly everything I do. From "spreading" hand lotion on her little hands to feeding her dolls and animals:

She also vacuums. There is a story to this little toy vacuum (see below). Sylvia has always loved my big, real vacuum and has tried to help me clean the carpets several times (as has been seen in a previous post). Dave's mom found this cute little toy vacuum at a consignment shop and I assumed it would be perfect and would free me with not having to vacuum only at night (after Sylvia is in bed and can no longer offer her assistance). I was wrong. She was terrified of this toy. She can handle the ear pounding roar and the powerful suction and immense size of the real thing but the toy that offers only a tiny hum and no suction proved to be too much. After much coaxing and prodding she still wouldn't budge. I finally put the toy on top of the shelves in her play area a day last week, thinking maybe we could try again in a few months. The very next day I began to vacuum a small area of the rug and the Pumpkin began to whine and complain and point to that only-hours-before-terrifying-vacuum. I retrieved it and the results can be seen here:

Meanwhile, our Lovebug is on the rapid move! It is to the point that I have to really weigh my options: Do I go tearing after the toddler holding onto all the cash our family has as she makes a beeline for her diaper pail, knowing full well that while I am chasing her the infant is probably putting herself in a potentially dangerous position in the other room? Or do I rescue the infant but watch our grocery money go into a pile of poop? Don't believe me? These are two locations I found Veda the other day within a twenty minute window of time:

Sure, she's smiling. She always smiles when I come running to her rescue, but I think it's because she already likes the thrill of making her mother panic with worry. Good gravy, please don't tell me we have a snowboarder or mile-high tight rope walker in our midst.

Veda is, quite obviously, pretty stinkin' cute. Her sister has begun to notice this and the green monster of jealously has been rearing its ugly head. Sylvia has two ways to deal with the competing cuteness of her sister. The first approach is the scare-her-with-too-much-love tactic:

When this fails, the second approach is simply to pack up and move out:

Auf Wiedersehen! But just when I think I have gotten rid of her and my life has become slightly easier with fewer crumbs to pick up and fewer toys scattered about my living room and a fifty percent decrease in dirty diapers I see this:

Maybe she'll get further down the driveway next time.

So, what have I been doing other than my ever present vigil over my children? Why, knitting, of course! (Well, and cleaning and cooking and doing church work and organizing our crap to host a garage sale this past week and a few other odds and ends here and there.) Last night I even finished my first Christmas present for the year. It still needs to be blocked but it's completely knit already.

It was recently Dave's folks' 35th wedding anniversary. I made them these washcloths. I know this seems a rather odd item to give a couple for a wedding anniversary, but here's the thing: I saw the colourway this yarn had to offer and these three colors simply popped out as being my mother and father-in-law. I am not entirely sure why. I think the orange is because MIL is fun and loud and a joy to have around. The blue is my FIL, more reserved and loves to be lost in a deep sea of books and writing. And the green reminds me of some of my favorite time spent with them. Summers. For some reason when I think of going to their house it conjures memories and feelings of sitting in their cool house with the windows open and a gentle summer ray of sun shining through. I think of reading and talking and taking walks with Dave down his old street. I think of cracker dinners and laughing.

As the yarn is a cotton-linen blend, washcloths were the perfect creation. I do not particularly enjoy knitting with a cotton-linen yarn but I simply adore the end product. Linen is a fabulous fiber that gets softer and softer with each additional wash. And cotton is a naturally soft and gentle fiber on its own. The combination of the two is truly something glorious. Just like my in-laws.

Oh! Here's a zucchini Dave brought home from work. It came from a colleague's garden and it could feed an entire village in China.

Until next time!

So Much Going On!

2010-08-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot going on around our house, and yet, I have taken very few pictures these last couple of months. It seems that I have even been too busy to use the camera!

I have joined a couple of committees at church and they have kept me very busy. We rearranged our house so that the playroom is in the dining room and the sun room (formerly used as the playroom) is now the study. This was done in part so that a totally kid-proof zone could be established (so that important paperwork, like bills, could not be manhandled by a certain toddler), but also so that I have an area where I can "go to work." Several evenings after Sylvia goes to bed, I retreat to the study and begin my hours of volunteer work for the church (as well as various other things I am involved with). I actually really enjoy this at is gives me something other than "mommyhood" in my life.

This was Sylvia when she was sick a few weeks ago. The poor thing was very ill and suffered with a fever for several days. I set her up in this green chair and here she remained. This poor girl was so sick that when the yellow sippy on the chair spilled all its water on the chair and her outfit, she merely whimpered and repositioned herself so that the water spill was not directly underneath her. I felt so badly for my baby!

Speaking of illness, the flu is making its way through our house right now. Thus far Dave had it and was out of work two days as a result and I had it this weekend. I truly hope it ends there and the girls are spared. I hate how icky it made me feel and I can't imagine how uncomfortable the girls would be.

A couple of weeks ago Dave took a few days off for vacation. One day during that time we took the girls to Dave's cousin's house in the middle of the state to see newborn goats. These twin cuties were only six days old.

Adorable, huh?

And these two cousins just keep getting cuter and cuter! Here they are each sporting their favorite toys: "Big Bruce" and "Big Elmer." They each have smaller versions of this same toy and both have taken a fondness to them, so when I found the larger version I just knew they had to have them.

Veda (and Daxton) are now six months old. At Veda's wellness check she came out all aces. She is still quite itty bitty, weighing in at only about 13 1/2 lbs. (10th percentile), but she was exactly 26" and this puts her closer to the 50th percentile.

Here is a "comparison" shot of Lovebug and Dax. At Dax's 6 month wellness check he weighed 19 pounds and was 27 3/4"!

In the end, though, these two are just such sweet babies and they are very lucky to have one another. Cousins your own age is always so nice.

This is how we found Orva sleeping a night last week on our way to bed. She was in the middle of the living room in this position. She made us laugh and I just had to run and grab my camera. I guess one can assume she feels very safe and secure in our house!

I know there is so much more that I could fill you in on, but with no pictures to help remind me of what has been going on I quickly forget. This is one of the "tragedies" of motherhood, I am afraid.

30th Wedding Anniversary

2010-07-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, the 19th, is my parents' thirtieth wedding anniversary. In my family we always make a celebration out of wedding anniversaries. Each year deserves to be honored and recognized and I do believe that it is appropriate for close friends and family to celebrate with the happy couple. A marriage is, naturally, primarily between two people but I do think that the encouragement and counsel of others is what often carries a couple through some of the more difficult times and praise for when a couple has mastered something is often what will spur them forward.

I have spent the last few months trying to think of an appropriate gift for them. Money is very, very tight. Time is very, very tight. But my love and admiration for them is not. The above is their physical gift. Originally I was knitting rosebuds to form a bouquet, but I just couldn't get it to look quite right. Then I had this idea instead-- surround this beautiful wood plaque with five rosebuds. Two are Mom and Dad and the group of three are Stephanie, Lindsey (aka Rosco) and me. Of course, there are several more members of our family now (I have added three myself!) but I guess I wanted to acknowledge first and foremost what they created as a couple: Three girls. I chose a rosebud because I believe we are all still forming into a mature beautiful flower, and I believe this takes a lifetime to accomplish.

My parents have seen a lot these last thirty years and I have the utmost respect for the choices they have made, the journeys they have shared, and the love they have shown. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

Friends

2010-07-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus

A Picture Story

2010-06-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

So, as promised, I have finally returned and have lots of pictures to share!

Our Lovebug is getting so big! She is really beginning to pudge out and she simply LOVES food. She is also somewhat mobile. Yesterday I watched her roll to retrieve a toy and she gets very angry if something is still out of reach despite all her rolling.

Sylvia got a backpack from Grandma a few weeks ago. She cracks me up because she will want it put on her and then she will leave it on all day if I let her. She is still not speaking much but she is as sharp as a whip. She can follow "if, then" commands and her problem solving is simply amazing, and terrifying! She continues to mimic what I do but it has gotten to be more complex things. She tried putting a pair of pants on Babydoll, and this morning she nearly put on her own t-shirt. She is now a relatively clean eater, having basically mastered her spoon and fork. And despite her lack of words, she manages to communicate nearly everything she needs/wants with us very effectively.

A couple of weeks ago Sylvia and I met Heather and Alexis to go strawberry picking. It was such a fun day! We took a hayride to the plants and then we picked to our hearts content until the tractor came back to retrieve us. Upon our return we got ice cream and strawberry plants to take home. Then we walked to the barn and fed and pet a number of animals. Sylvia had the best time and was a total wreck when I told her we had to go home.

They were very yummy berries! At first Sylvia was really good about helping me pick them and put them in our basket but then she noticed that Alexis was eating them. Suddenly, picking didn't seem as much fun and she indulged on the fresh from the vine berries instead!

This was the day before Father's Day. We had my family get together then and we all sat around my dad while he shared stories of his father. It was really neat and it was something that I was actually planning on asking him to do in the near future. We never knew my dad's dad, not even my mom, so it was nice to hear my own father share his love for the father he had.

This was Dave and the girls on Father's Day. He was so excited to be reading to his girls while both of them sat in his lap. It was right before church and he hollered at me to get the camera so I could capture his special moment forever.

A dear friend of mine got these hilarious glasses for Veda. They have owls that flip up (which is what you are seeing). I made some "mommy cards" using this picture as the front, I thought it was so cute.

And here is Sylvia enjoying some of the fun aspects of summer-- playing in the water! She had the best time and even kept pretty calm whenever the spray would get her.

My grandfather's home hosted "Country Days" last week and Mom and I took the girls for about an hour or so. It was simply too hot to be there for any longer! Sylvia saw several animals again and loved petting them all.

And the other thing this crazy girl insisted on doing was hug the trees. Wherever we go she needs to hug the trees!

Just a couple of cute pics of Veda. (And Sylvia has no idea her little sister was using her chair so don't tell her!)

Coming Soon

2010-06-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

I realize I may need to reintroduce myself it has been so long since I have last updated. We have not had internet lately. My life can get quite crummy without internet as so much of my social being is connecting with people "virtually." This week, other than my husband, I did not see another adult human for four days. So, I am thankful for the technology we have that can allow me to "talk" with others even if I can't see them, but I can go rather nuts when I no longer have this access.

We do have a connection at present, but now I am struggling to merge my old computer with my new computer (which is housing all my newest pictures but cannot connect to the internet for some unknown reason).

Anyway, all of this rambling can be summed up in a simple plea: Stay tuned. I will post again soon with many adorable pictures included.

Weekend Photographed

2010-06-06T13:49:00.000-07:00

Veda got a new friend named Bruce. And she loves him very much. Big sister is jealous of Veda's new toy.

This is a posed shot. I said, "Do you want your picture taken?" and she immediately stood in place with a big ol' grin and waited until after she saw the flash and heard the "click." Yikes.

A parent's dream: When asked if she wanted a snack, Sylvia ran to the fridge and pulled out the bag of vegetables. She loves broccoli. Don't believe me? Check out the closeup:

She is a girl after my own heart. I also love the stuff raw. Dave just finds the whole thing rather icky.

Lady Bissell? I have mentioned previously that Sylvia loves to help me vacuum. Yesterday she hopped out of her bath and came running to assist me in my chore, no clothes necessary!

Yesterday was Veda's first real go at solid food. The doctor originally wanted to wait until she was six months, but given her "petiteness" we were told to go ahead and begin trying now. Sylvia was six or seven months before she had any real interest in the stuff. Veda took to it immediately. She is currently eating sweet potatoes (and will be for the next several days because of that whole allergy concern thing), and this morning she actually began to cry and fuss every time Dave took the spoon away to refill it.

Yummers. She was quite pleased with her meal!

But the whole ordeal tuckered her out. We gave her a bath and a bottle and she was soon out, and I mean OUT. But isn't this one of the cutest pictures you've ever seen?

This is some of my most favorite yarn in the world. Ria, Dave's "aunt" from the Netherlands, brought it over for me. (Yes, they were here for another visit a couple of weeks ago. I have been waiting to receive their pictures to get the best selection to share with everyone before posting about our wonderful time together.) Alpaca has got to be one of the best fibres in existence. It is stronger than sheep wool, is both warmer and cooler than sheep wool, has no lanolin (no itchiness factor), and comes in 16 recognized natural shades. The skein to the left is an all natural, undyed yarn. And have I mentioned that this stuff is soft? I mean, it is really soft. I am in love.

Veda at Four Months

2010-06-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

Our wee member of the family is now four months old. She had her wellness check this past Tuesday. She looks very healthy and her stats were good: 24.25" and 11lbs. 4oz. She grew well over three inches since her two month check! She is now in the 50th percentile for her length and continues to remain in the 10th for her weight. We are going to try and fatten her up a bit!

Discouragingly, it looks as though we may have an allergy kid. She has a couple of body rashes and we are carefully watching what may be causing the irritation. We have to introduce solids very slowly to establish whether it upsets her system or not. Nothing was severe enough yet to warrant full allergy testing at this time, but the doctor did caution that we should not be too surprised if we find ourselves in this boat in the future.

I shared with a couple of people that I dread becoming "that" mom. You know, the mom who every time she drops her kids off somewhere has to say, "Well, child A can't eat this or do that and be sure you do this with child B and be especially careful about x with child B as well . . ." Between genetic diseases and allergies I am quickly headed down that path.

And what is this? Could that be little Veda rolling over from back to front? Why, yes, it could! She suddenly began doing this last Friday. It took Sylvia until about six months before she could do this and we spent several weeks watching her try and try and try to master the skill. I remember cheering her on and telling her what to do with her arm and it was almost a full blown celebration once she finally managed to roll over. Veda, on the other hand, gave us no warning. We never saw her make any attempts or anything. She just suddenly did it. It was a total surprise. This worries me a little. I appreciate the lack of drama (which we get PLENTY of from her older sister), but I also like having a little notice about things.

This picture just cracks me up. I don't know if Veda is getting instructions, a pep talk, a warning . . .

Feeding the Old Man

2010-05-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

I wanted to quickly share these pictures of Sylvia. She has really taken on a mother role lately, mimicking nearly everything I do. The other day she grabbed Statler (from The Muppets) and began feeding him. I just love that she is bottle feeding a doll that represents an old man!

She LOVES showing care and affection for anything that seems love-worthy. Even if she can't physically touch or grab something she will give it an "air hug" and say "Awwww . . . " Too cute.

And this is Sylvia with her "Boppy." It is actually a pillow that is used to help prop up infants during belly time, but Sylvia doesn't know that. It looks similar to Mom's Boppy, so this one must be hers!

Will I Ever Sleep Again?

2010-05-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted. I hardly sleep because Veda is still crying in the evenings and because there are some things that simply NEED to get done around the house that can't be done while Sylvia is awake-- like folding laundry. She tries to be "helpful" and I spend all my time refolding and refolding and refolding. I also can no longer vacuum because she has taken a recent interest in helping me push the vacuum. Very sweet, but does not allow for productive cleaning. And, of course, I need to wash all those bottles (again!) so that I have some clean ones come morning. So, my day generally "ends" around 1:00-1:30 a.m. and it "begins" around 7:00 a.m. The "ends" and "begins" denotes that sometimes I am still awake and tending to the littlest one during this supposed time of sleeping.

Dave and I also haven't really talked with each other in weeks. I am not entirely sure what is going on in his life other than the kids and trying to help out around the house when he can. This is the sad thing about living in the middle of nowhere-- no babysitters.

I know that this is a short-lived experience in the grand scheme of things. A day will come when the girls not only won't need us as much but will also not want us as much. And the truth is that this day will come sooner than we think.

But while we are in the thick of it, this day seems like an eternity away, so my current comfort is in the beautiful faces that greet me every morning (or in the middle of the night) and the sweet hugs and kisses that I receive and the smiles that look in my direction at the mere sound of my voice. These small things give me the greatest joy.

Oddities

2010-04-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

This is Daxton. He was all dressed up because he had his three month pictures. Pretty adorable, huh? I am not sure what I love more, the tie or the hat. Our girls are supposed to go in for their three month and 18 months pictures tomorrow but both are pretty snot-filled today, so we'll see. Huge globs of snot running out the nose and dried crusty snot stuck to the face and hair do not generally make cute pictures.

This is Oma with her two smallest grandbabies. We keep trying to get good pictures of the kids together or with parents or with grandparents but it is proving impossible! But I guess there really is no such thing as a "good" picture because often the best shots are the ones that are unplanned and the most genuine. This photograph depicts reality. It is an Oma trying to hold onto two babies and barely managing. IAnd it is two babies who are simply trying to figure out the world around them.

It is so much fun to watch Dax and Veda together. They whack each other across the face, occasionally grab each other's clothing and sometimes even hold a hand or a finger or two. They frequently talk back and forth, and I can only ponder what the exchange is all about. Babies are fantastic. Most of the time.

At three months babies are supposed to begin becoming really fun. They turn into expressive beings. They smile and coo and sometimes laugh. They are happy to see you and get noticeably excited at the sound of your voice. And in the case of Sylvia, she finally began to emerge from her horrible state of colic. Veda never got this memo about turning three months. She was a pretty good baby her first few months, but now she has taken to screaming uncontrollably at night. We feed and rock and soothe and pat and burp and diaper change and clothing change and bathe and more to try and calm her:

But nothing works. There are only two things that seem to offer any comfort to her. The first is sitting in a tub of warm water:

The second is going on a car ride. So . . . This week has seen a number of warm bath sessions followed by a quick bundling of the baby and throwing her in the car so I can drive around for an hour or more to get her calm and asleep. Believe me, this is not how I want to spend my nights. Generally I like to be asleep after midnight, or at least curled up with a good book or some knitting. Eventually this will pass, but it is taking its toll on us in the meantime.

Sylvia, on the other hand, has been pretty good these past couple of weeks. She is beginning to talk more and more and every day, if I pay close enough attention, I catch another word or phrase she is trying to use. She also has a set of rather peculiar activities. The most recent:

Last weekend she suddenly emerged from her room carrying two pair of socks. She then placed them on top of this cat tree and trotted back to her room to grab two more pair. She continued doing this until her sock box was empty and the top of the cat tree was overflowing. She then gathered up an armful from the cat tree and walked them back to their spot in her room and continued until they were all put away.

Strange. Very strange. I often wonder what goes on in a toddler's mind.

Growing, Growing, Growing!

2010-04-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

Sylvia was very excited to get her picture taken yesterday morning, and she was so cute in her little getup too! She has such a tiny waist and I have a terrible time finding pants that will stay around her and not start creeping down to her knees. The pair she is wearing in the photo are from the Gap and they fit her great! I found this pair on clearance, and will have to keep an eye out for more.

She turned 18 months this past Saturday. My baby is a year and a half! Actually, she is not even my baby anymore. Veda is my baby. Sylvia is my *gulp* "Big Girl." She had her 18 month wellness check yesterday and she looked great! She is still tall and thin: Her weight was 23 pounds and 12 ounces (25-50th percentile) and her height was a hair over 33" (90th percentile).

I realize this is a horrible photograph but I included it because I can't believe how old the Little Pumpkin looks in this picture. It seems like just yesterday she rolled over for the first time:

This was a year ago, when she was six months. But I still even think that this:

was just yesterday.

My Little Darlings

2010-04-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

This was kind of a difficult week around here. At least for Mom. The week started with a migraine, saw a power (and therefore water) outage in the middle, and ended with a very long Friday. But it was still filled with its precious moments.
This past weekend we learned that Sylvia can stack seven blocks on the carpet and ten blocks on the linoleum. Her eighth and eleventh block attempts were very nearly successful too. She will be 18 months tomorrow and the "average" 18 month old stacks about four blocks. Yeah, we know. She's a genius. Or, at least, her fine motor skills are superb. (Yes!!! This means she will be a knitter for sure!)

And my little Veda. She is such a doll. I cannot believe how beautiful she is.

I have a poop story about her. (You know you are a mother through and through when you are eager to tell a poop story!) On Monday of this week Lovebug had been constipated for a few days so we gave her some prune juice to help move things along, so to speak. After her feeding I had her propped up by me and within the hour she let lose. Afterward she got this larger than life smile and look of absolute bliss on her face. This continued for minutes! I have never seen such a thoroughly contented look in my life.

(And in the years to come I cannot wait for the look of horror on her face when she realizes her mother published this story!)

This is what I found yesterday morning. I was, again, doing the dishes and when I looked over my shoulder I was astonished to see that Sylvia had climbed into Veda's basket and was trying to give her a pipe. This girl is unbelievable. She is a very high energy child, stubborn, totally in love with her sister, and thinks she can do anything-- absolutely anything.

Catching Up

2010-04-09T17:58:00.000-07:00

I realize it has been a while since I have written. To be honest, my life is consumed by my children. When I am not changing a diaper or feeding someone, I am washing clothes or folding clothes or picking up toys or reading to the Pumpkin or stacking blocks with her or rocking Lovebug or washing bottles or dealing with a toddler tantrum or soothing a crying infant or . . . You get the idea. I was talking with a couple of good friends, one via email and the other on the phone, and revealed to them that I am behind on everything. I hate that. I am behind on the housework, the bills, the laundry (which just keeps coming and coming and coming!), and I am so sick of dumping another can of soup on top of a couple of chicken breasts and calling it dinner. But most of all, I hate that I am behind with everyone else. My contacts with these two friends earlier this week were long overdue, and these are only two people of many, many wonderful people whom I desire to reconnect with.

But this will be my life for a while, and I am okay with that. I am trying to treasure these moments I have with my little ones while they are still little. It won't be long and I will be looking back on these days and missing those little socks that always seem to disappear in the washing machine and wondering how my babies who always needed me are suddenly independent.

So . . . On to enjoying the now! When I finally uploaded the pictures from my camera there were well over 200! While there will be a lot of pictures this post, I will not share all 200 with you! This series will work backwards, starting with Easter.
The girls had matching dresses for Easter, and they were too cute! The compliments they received at church were numerous. Sadly, I never got a good picture of the two of them together. Above is Sylvia hugging my parents' newest foster dog, Naomi. I really like her, and so does Sylvia. But I am not sure how much Naomi likes Sylvia!

Here is another attempt at getting a picture of all three cousins. Better. But we have yet to get a truly "good" one. Thanks, Dads, for the additional help in acquiring this shot!

These are some goofy bunny glasses that Grandma gave Sylvia a few weeks ago. She actually really enjoys wearing them, but only for a very short duration! The girls each got a clothing change after arriving at my folks' to try and keep the Sunday clothes looking Sunday appropriate. When Dave and I were out shopping the Friday before, we found this bright pink fufu skirt and we just knew that the Pumpkin was going to LOVE it. And, she does.

Yep. Sylvia had her first Easter Egg Hunt this Easter. I filled the eggs with such treasures as stickers, two finger puppets, a couple of half dollars and even four "Newmans" (what we call the Paul Newman organic chocolate alphabet cookies). She kind of got the egg hunt concept. She spotted several of the eggs on her own and she would collect them, but she had a very difficult time releasing them to Daddy to put in her bag. She kept wanting to hold all of them at once. I didn't reveal to her that there were goodies on the inside of these eggs until after we got back in the house. Once she learned this additional surprise she was thrilled and kept handing me egg after egg expecting more prizes.

In fact, this afternoon we stopped by Aunt Keeley's house to pick up cute little baskets that she had put together for the girls. Included in the baskets were decorated, but empty, Easter eggs. Sylvia got so excited to see those eggs and she kept bringing them to me after we got home. Just try and imagine her disappointment when she learned these eggs held no goodies!

The end of last week surprised us with some magnificent weather and one afternoon I took the girls outside to enjoy the sun. Sylvia has taken a number of walks with Dave around our property in the afternoon, but this was her first time getting to wander on her own a bit more while I watched from a short distance away with Veda. She loved grabbing the dirt and dead grass and leaves and throwing them up in the air! And I could tell she must have had a great time because of all the dirt that was attached to her fingers and knees and clothes and hair when we got inside!

And Veda enjoyed her time outdoors while safely sitting under the visor of the stroller.Okay. So, this is quite something. That same afternoon when I took the girls outside I decided to let Sylvia "hold" Veda. I figured both were big enough now that it could be done with very careful supervision. I asked Sylvia if she was interested in this and she nodded her head. I placed Sylvia on this green chair and then brought Veda to her and gently laid her in Sylvia's lap. Sylvia would stroke her head and coo at her. It was really sweet. Then when I thought she had had enough, I began to reach for Veda to take her away. Sylvia immediately wrapped her arms around Veda in protest! She absolutely did not want her sister to be taken from her. It is amazing how strongly Sylvia is attached to her little sister already, and the reverse holds true as well . . .

Veda is finally beginning to smile consistently at the sound of our voice or seeing our faces and last weekend she even smiled at her big sister! I love watching this bond between the two of them already forming.

And do you remember me mentioning that Sylvia nodded her head? Well, she does that now. She also shakes her head. I thought she was opinionated before, but now that she has learned these magic codes for "yes" and "no" her true colors are even further revealed. Let me reiterate, I have one very stubborn daughter! Ever heard of a strong-willed child? I have one. Prayers are appreciated!

And our little Lovebug had her two month wellness check last week. She continues to look great! She is lagging slightly behind other infants her age, but this is simply because she decided to make her debut a little earlier than most. She also started antacid medication. I feel kind of badly about this. I knew she had acid reflux, but I had no idea how severely she had it until the doctor began asking me different things regarding her behaviour and diapers, etc. My poor baby was in a lot of pain and I didn't even realize it! Since beginning the medication we have noticed some improvement but she is still struggling. Hopefully another week and we will see some continued change.

And her size: She weighed in at 9 lbs. 1 oz. And her height was 21". Both of these place her in the 10th percentile. This is actually very good, as it means she is gaining. At two weeks she was only in the 5th percentile. I do not remember her head circumference, but it was within the normal range.

I put away all of her newborn items two weekends ago. It was kind of difficult for this Mama to do, especially as Lovebug may be our last baby. I am certainly very thankful that she is growing and thriving but it also makes me very sad to realize that all these baby joys may never be revisited.

Some other interesting tidbits about the girls:

Sylvia is VERY tall. She can now reach my kitchen counter tops! This is quite distressing as it means that there is virtually no "safe" surface that exists in my house anymore!

Two mornings ago I was holding Veda after a feeding and Sylvia came over to talk to her sister. As she was standing there jabbering away I finally picked up one of the things she was saying. She was "asking" her sister, "Is that so?" This is something that Dave and I say to the girls quite frequently and it was too cute to hear her repeating it to Veda.

Finally, the other morning I asked Sylvia if she wanted to go to Oma's house. She ran off to get her shoes, grabbed her hoodie and promptly stood at the door ready to go!

Butterflies! For Dave's birthday his dad took Dave, Sylvia and me to see the butterflies at the Frederik Meijer Gardens. I hadn't been in several years and I had forgotten how fantastic it is. Sylvia really enjoyed herself and was even able to spot several butterflies all by herself. The Gardens are such a lovely place and I particularly like their Victorian Garden. I told Dave that if I had the time and a babysitter and the money to visit, I would go just to sit in the Victorian Garden and knit. I could happily sit there for hours with my yarn and needles breathing in the glorious scent and basking in the warm and airy atmosphere.

I acknowledge that this has been one long post and was possibly rather laborious to read, but if you made it all the way through then I commend you and thank you for your endurance! I will try and be more consistent in my blogging again, but please bear with me during these early childhood years!

Eight Weeks and Counting

2010-03-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

Veda is eight weeks old today. It is, of course, so very hard for this mama to believe. And this past week has seen a major growth spurt! I feel like she has grown an inch and gained a pound and a half. I am eager for her two month check on Monday, because I think this girl is up to nine pounds already! Sunday we were at my folks' to celebrate my youngest sister's birthday. The Dax Man was dressed in his finest and both of the girls were in a cupcake motif-- all thanks to their daddy.This is currently the only picture of the three cousins we have. I have a feeling it could be quite a while before we have a good one of everyone together.

Sylvia is also on the verge of a major growth spurt, but I am thinking hers is going to be a language explosion and not a physical growth spurt. She has gotten up on the wrong side of the crib a lot these past couple of weeks and the above is her "I want, I want, I want!" face right before she breaks out into a cry. She has been a bit of a pistol as of late. But, of course, she is still the most adorable and cutest thing ever and despite how many tantrums she throws she is still the light of my life.

Yesterday was a big day. My dad was in Detroit, so I think my mom was a little lonely and wanted company. Veda also needed to meet her Great Grandpa and Great Great Aunt Selma. Both of the "elderlies" (as my mom refers to them) were so happy to see her. They both really love little ones and there is something so precious about seeing the old with the new.

I especially like this picture of Aunt Selma with Veda. For a woman who never had children of her own, she certainly has a passion for babies! She simply LOVES them. She was so eager to hold Veda that as soon as I got her out of her car seat Aunt Selma was ready to take her. I told her she needed to sit down first and then I would give her Veda. There is something about having a 93 year old handling an infant while standing that just didn't seem like a good idea.

Today the Lovebug sported her "darth veda" shirt given to her by her Uncle Chris. Uncle Chris and his friend, Mark, were the only ones to figure out Veda's name before she was born (using my clue of an owl). The first thing Chris asked me is if he could make Darth Vader jokes. And before she was even born he made this shirt-- twice. This is the first size. She has another one to grow into.

And in "big" Veda news: Saturday she gave me her first "real" smile! She is still not doing it very often, but as those smiles increase I am sure I will get a marvelous picture to share with you.

This afternoon Cousin Jack and Nana Jeanne stopped by for a visit. Jack was in great spirits and really enjoyed seeing Veda. He would look at her and smile and then laugh and laugh. It was too cute. Jack, by the way, is nine months already.

And my brilliant child did it again. I was putting away laundry and I heard Veda beginning to fuss. I couldn't attend to her right away so it was a couple minutes before I could make it out to her. When I did arrive I found this bottle of already mixed formula sitting there for her. (The little hand in the picture is Sylvia ready to take the bottle back. I guess Veda didn't move fast enough!)

I was actually really surprised that the Pumpkin remembered what these were. She hasn't seen Veda drinking from one in quite a while. Veda virtually only drinks breast milk and when she does receive formula it is typically very early in the morning, before Sylvia is even awake. The girl amazes me.

So, there has been some interest expressed about the freebies I find. The above are my freebies that arrived in the mailbox today. There are six instant coffee mixes and this lovely tote bag. I have no idea where the bag came from but it is marvelous. So . . . For those of you interested in trying to acquire these odds and ends here is my little guide:

1. Become friends with freebies4mom on facebook. Alternately, you can "favorite" her website by the same name.

2. Places like Wal*Mart, Costco and Sam's Club often have free samples available. And not always do you need a membership to receive items from Costco and Sam's Club (which is good because we do not have one).

3. Items like Pampers and Huggies have rewards points attached to some of their products. There are also "bonus" points that are sometimes available, but if you are friends with freebies4mom she will notify you of them. Once points are collected they can be traded for prizes, lottery type games, or even used for donations.

4. http://www.absurdlycool.com lists available free items on a daily basis. The site is not terribly descriptive, so it can be hard to tell what offerings there are but it is worth checking out once or twice a week.

5. http://www.mypoints.com/ is a website that I have used for about two years. I do a lot of online shopping and mypoints allows me to collect points for a number of the places I shop at. Once enough points are collected I can exchange them for gift cards. This is how we paid for a large portion of our shed last year.

6. Check out your credit cards. One of my credit cards gives me points for purchases. Similar to mypoints, once enough points are collected I can exchange them for gift cards. (And if I use that card while shopping through mypoints I get twice the goods!)

7. Finally, shop around! I spend a lot of time reviewing my purchases and checking around for the best price and looking for free shipping. There is also a site, http://www.retailmenot.com/ that will post any available coupon codes for many different online stores.

**Added bit of information: You may also be interested in checking out http://www.filleritem.com/ where you can find items that will bring you to the $25.00 free shipping offered by amazon.com.**

There are, of course, many other ways to achieve great deals with things such as freecyle.com and even craig's list, but this is just a list of the things that have worked the best for me.

And that tote bag that I got today?

Yeah, it's now housing my newest knitting project!

St. Patty's Day

2010-03-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Everyone! It was a rather ho-hum sort of day around here. The morning was rough: Everyone needed me at the same time, everyone pooped at the same time (including the cats), everyone needed to eat at the same time (including me but, of course, I get to wait until last), and everyone was a little fussy. Around 2:00 things leveled out and the rest of the day was actually rather pleasant.

Sylvia wore her special green duds and even brushed her hair to make herself extra attractive for this festive day.

Veda wore her green outfit, even if it wasn't especially "St. Patrickish." She is finally beginning to outgrow newborn clothing, but some of those 0-3 month pieces are still quite large on her, including today's outfit. (Those footies contain no feet!)

This afternoon Veda and I played while Daddy and Sylvia went for a walk outside. It was another gorgeous day up here and the Little Pumpkin is loving her time outdoors. Last year she was afraid of grass. This year thus far, that fear seems to be a thing of the past. I suspect we will have lots of fun this summer!

Last week an old family friend asked me what I do. Aside from the obvious, watching my girls and trying to run the house, I really came up short in my answer. I am so very busy with these two girls and chores that I don't get to "do" much for myself. So, this got me thinking: What exactly do I do for pleasure?

I am on a free sample kick and will spend my spare moment or two surfing the web looking for freebies. This is what came in the mail for me today. Today's haul was especially good!

And I still do a lot of reading but it has kind of taken a different form. Other than the obvious interest displayed, it is generally things that can be put down on a moment's notice. And so, knitting magazines are a favorite (and more are desired, so if you happen to have any . . . ), and knitting instruction books are great reads too! And when I do have enough time to read for fifteen plus minutes consecutively, then I read my typical murder mystery or romance. And someday when my brain power can be used for thinking again then I will return to my more "academic" reading. (I wonder if that day will ever truly come . . .)

While my reading is widely knitting related, my actual knitting looks more like this. That is not quite true. I have three ongoing projects right now. This is extremely rare for me, as I tend to knit one project at a time. But somehow I ended up with these three projects and have been slowly (very slowly) working on them for the last six weeks or so.

And, yes, I am currently watching a lot of television. We don't have satellite or anything so it is all on dvd. Netflix started as a one month gift from a fabulous friend and we loved it so much that, despite not being able to really afford it, we continue to keep the subscription. It has been a lifesaver. Baby Einstein is in there intentionally. It is part of my daily viewing. Feedings have become very difficult as Sylvia insists on trying to push her sister out of my lap or simply sitting on her to reclaim the spot. Videos have become a necessity and she only intently watches Baby Einstein. Call me a horrible parent, but I would rather let her watch twenty minutes of a video than squash her baby sister.

That's what I "do."

In closing, I will leave you with a very sweet story:

This is how I found Veda Friday morning. I had been washing dishes in the kitchen and when I came back into the living room I found Veda with these two baby toys on either side of her. They were lovingly put there by her big sister.

Sisterly Love

2010-03-11T20:08:00.000-08:00

Video no. 1: Sylvia giving Veda a kiss.

Video no. 2: Continues directly after video no.1 ends, Sylvia being "helpful."

Veda Speaks

2010-03-05T18:54:00.000-08:00

Hi! This is Veda, the littlest member of my family (although, I think a cat or two may be smaller and that tiny bird on top of the entertainment center is definitely smaller). See that guy lying next to me? That's my cousin, Daxton. He was born just one week ahead of me, so we're pretty "tight." (I don't know what that means but Mama said that because we were born so close together we will probably be pretty tight growing up-- Hmmm . . . Our clothes will never fit?)

Anyway, he is a pretty interesting guy. I got to see him earlier this week. Mama woke up at 7:30 in the morning and she got busy getting me and my sister ready. We were pulling out of our driveway at 10:52 a.m. Mama said something like, "Good grief! It only took three and a half hours."

There was something very neat over there, but I don't remember what it was.

And here I am trying to twist my body so it looks like I am as big as he is. It is called an optical illusion. Is it working?

Okay. This picture is very special. Do you see that sweater I am wearing? Well, my Great Grandma knit that sweater a very long time ago. Oma said that she thinks Great Grandma was making it for one of Oma's siblings, but no one was ever little enough to wear it. Until me. I think I make it look good! Mama said that Great Grandma must have been knitting it for me; she just didn't know it at the time. Mama also said that it would be like her knitting something now that would one day be worn by one of my grandchildren. Wow!

I love my Oma very much and I am sure that I would have loved my Oma's mama just as much.

Sylvia's Bumblebee

2010-03-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

Last week Sylvia and I were sitting together on our green chair. She suddenly looked at me, held up her finger, and said "Bzzzzz!" I have no idea what made her think of this at that moment, but she had never done it before. She has a couple of books with a bumblebee in it and we do the standard "Bzzzz!" and then attack her with our finger. I guess she figured out how to do it herself! Ever since, whenever we ask to see her bumblebee or for her to do her bumblebee she responds with the cutest sounds and gesture, as you can see in the videos (both taken today).

I'll be back soon with some adorable pictures.

Grey Skies, But Sunny Smiles

2010-02-27T18:41:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day. Today was the first day I stepped foot out of the house in two weeks. Today was the day that I was alone for the second time in two months. Today was the day that I drove for the fourth time in two months. And today is the day that my littlest honey turned one month.

Dave stayed home with the girls while I went out by myself for a couple of hours. I cannot begin to express how wonderful this was for my well being. I have the most marvelous husband! And in my venture out I even found a diaper bag that is very nearly large enough for all the accoutrements two very small girls require. (Thank you, Stephanie!)
I have the two most wonderful and adorable girls in the world and thus far they seem to be getting along pretty well. Sylvia stays happy so long as Mama's lap is big enough for her too!
Last weekend the girls received a visit from Great Grandpa and Grumpy. Four generations coming together is always a neat experience. (And I cannot believe I got this good of a picture with one toddler, one infant and one man over 90 present!)
This is our little Veda. She continues to be doing amazingly well. Her little face is filling out and she no longer looks like a newborn. I attached the mobile to her swing this week, as she is finally beginning to look around and study her world, and time will tell, but our Lovebug may be a redhead!

As for my dead computer . . . Well, my files were rescued and my machine was temporarily fixed. Five days later it is dead again. Such sadness. And until I get a new computer my wonderful photo software (that organizes all my pictures and allows me to crop and edit) is gone with it. And so, I offer my apologies now for my upcoming posts that will be scant in photo content.

I have more stories, and maybe some more pictures to go with them, but for now it is time to say goodnight.

A Death in the Household

2010-02-19T12:56:00.000-08:00

There has been a death in the household. Wednesday morning my computer died. It had not been happy for some time and hopefully it's passing was peaceful and serene. At least, it suffers no longer. Sadly, it may have taken some valuables with it to the grave: A year's worth of pictures that have not been backed up and a slew of knitting patterns.

I was just thinking on Monday that I really needed to back up my pictures, beginning from last March. I had let it slide for far too long. Well, I didn't act quickly enough. Our deceased household member is currently residing with "Uncle" Phil, whom we are hoping can extract these valuable files. Hopefully we can get a status update later this weekend.

And I had just loaded a bunch of adorable pictures of the girls Tuesday night in the hopes of posting a wonderful new blog entry on Wednesday. The girls were in their Valentine outfits on Sunday and we headed down to my folks' for the afternoon. They were too cute, especially Sylvia in her little cupcake dress and pink tights. And Veda sported an adorable outfit from Oma Ria on Tuesday that I got a couple of great pictures of her wearing it. Sigh.

As a general update, we are doing pretty well here. This past week Veda has been acting more and more like a "normal" newborn. She has periods of wakefulness (and not just a couple of minutes here and there). She makes more noise, and has begun a consistent feeding schedule on her own (no more having to force feed her). On Wednesday of this week both of our girls had "birthdays." Sylvia turned sixteen months and Veda three weeks (and my nephew, Dax, turned four weeks).

Yesterday was originally slated to be Veda's birthday. I was due for surgery at 7:00 a.m. Our little Lovebug, however, had been very determined to have a January birthday. I am just thankful that it proved to be the 27th and not the 5th of that month. Things are only just now beginning to "catch up" with me: Realizing that we are at the end of February already, I am no longer pregnant, Veda is already several weeks old, and that Christmas and New Year have been done and over for quite some time already. The last eight weeks or so have been one giant blur.

Sylvia continues to be a little helper for Mama. Her newest thing is she has begun to help me burp the baby. She will whack her little hand against Veda's back-- often much harder than I will. And she has even whacked out a burp or two! She is sometimes really good about retrieving things I ask for: Veda's pipe, her hat, bottle, etc. But this comes and goes and I cannot really rely on Sylvia to actually get what I need.

Well, I need to go. Sylvia just brought me a book to read to her!

Two Week Check & Playing Outdoors

2010-02-08T19:35:00.000-08:00

Veda went in for her two week wellness check this afternoon. We saw the new doctor today and we really like her. She spent a lot of time with us and was very kind. I liked her so much that I changed Sylvia's 18 month check to be with her and for Veda's 2 month check to be with her as well.

Veda has a very slight "pop" in her left hip, and while the doctor doesn't want to do an ultrasound or anything else at this point, she wants to be sure to pay special attention to it at two months. If she still hears the "pop" then we will have to do some further analysis. But no real worries yet. Veda also has several birthmarks: Above each eyelid, on the bridge over her nose and at the base of her neck. The eyelid splotches should clear by around 18 months, the one in between her eyes will take a bit longer but should be faded before kindergarten. The one on the back of her neck, well, it could be 18 months, a few years or maybe it will never fully fade. Time will tell.

Veda's stats compared to other two week old girls: She weighed in at 6 pounds and 4 ounces (5-10th percentile), measured at 19" (5-10th percentile), and her head was 13 1/3" (10-25th percentile). It seems very strange to have a child measuring below the 10th percentile and to have it be "okay." But as she started out premature, these stats are actually very good for her. Because she is so little and because she is still several weeks developmentally behind other newborns and because she came in the middle of winter we were strongly advised by her doctor to not take her out for the next three months. So, no church, no large family gatherings, nowhere where germs may reside and absolutely no visitors with even a hint of a cold. It could be a very long three months!

Sylvia had a lot of fun this past weekend. She spent more time "helping" with Lovebug and even got to play outside with Daddy both Saturday and Sunday. This is a new activity for her and she LOVES it! It is rather fun to watch her toddle around outdoors. She is in her chunky snowpants, boots that are a little too large, and she is trying to maneuver through snow on uneven ground. Spills happen often! She loves to touch every tree (and we have A LOT of them!), and she has even gathered snow while sitting on the ground. While her outdoor stints are short, she comes in with a huge smile on her face and an exhaustion level to match!

What a bath does to a newborn:

Like virtually all newborns, Veda does not appreciate being bathed. This picture is from her last bath and I just love the expression on her face and the wild hair on top of her head. One thing that has been kind of fun these last several days is we are finally beginning to see Veda in a wakeful state for more than a minute or two at a time. It is really nice to see our baby beginning to explore her world. Babies are amazing.

Veda Katherine!

2010-02-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

A very dear friend of mine commented that she had not heard an "Internet peep" from me in quite some time. Needless to say, this past week has been unbelievably busy and surprising!

When we last left off, I was scheduled for an amniocentesis Wednesday of this week to check the development of Lovebug's lungs and then schedule surgery for this Thursday or Friday. Obviously, you can see from the pictures that this did not happen! I went into labor last week Tuesday night. I hung around my parents' house for as long as I could, but by 1:00 a.m. I knew I couldn't last much longer: It was time to head for the hospital. My mom took me in, and Dave hopped out of bed to make his just over an hour long drive down.

Labor proved to be hard and fast, and despite how quickly I was in surgery, it still seemed to take too long. I was admitted at 1:30 and Veda Katherine was born at 3:09 a.m. Wednesday morning (27th of January). Dave barely made it to the hospital in time for the surgery!

Surgery was a wonderful experience this time around. A mirror was held up so that I could see the doctors remove Veda from me. While this may seem kind of weird to some, I thought it was absolutely beautiful and as tears rolled down my eyes the anesthesiologist was there with a tissue to wipe them off. The doctor also held Veda up over the sheet and announced "Happy Birthday!" to us. When Veda came out she began to cry! This was such a blessing to hear, as it meant that she was breathing on her own, despite being a month early. She even made more noise than her sister! Dave was able to hold her shortly after surgery and even placed her on the "bed" by me so that I could see her up close. He even got to walk her down to the nursery.

We did not have a camera with us in the operating room. Things happened so fast that there simply was not time. But my mom and Dave did get a couple of shots after she was placed in the Special Care Nursery (NICU).

Veda was 6 pounds, 1 ounce at birth-- a very healthy weight for her gestational age. She was 19" long, proving to be "tall" just like her sister (and daddy)!

This is Daddy feeding Veda her first bottle. I could not be there for this, as Lovebug was in the NICU and I was in my room recovering. Fortunately, my mom and Dave came back with pictures for me to look at.

In fact, I did not get to hold Veda until nearly noon the next day. Because she was in the NICU she couldn't be in my room with me, so I had to wait until I was strong enough to be able to take the wheelchair trip to the nursery to visit her.

This is the owl I made for Veda. This little lady bird received so many compliments from nurses and other hospital staff. I was routinely asked if someone made her for me, and I always took a little joy when I said that I had actually made her for Veda.

This birth experience was far better than what I had experienced with Sylvia just over a year earlier. I was so thankful for the fabulous staff at Holland Hospital.
We were told repeatedly that Veda was doing much better than what they would expect to see from someone at her gestational age. In the beginning she showed signs of minor respiratory distress. Within a few days this cleared up entirely. Because she was eating very well and her heart and lungs sounded good, she was released from the NICU Thursday morning! I was so very happy to have her in my room by me.

I love this picture of Daddy with his newest little girl. As a side note, it looks like I am surrounded by blondies in my house! My mom suggested I dye my hair so that people will believe my daughters belong to me.

On Friday Auntie Stephie came with Daxton. This was Daxton and Veda meeting for the very first time! These cousins are only one week apart in age.

While I look tired (and I was!), I actually felt pretty good. Obviously, I was in a decent amount of pain from surgery but overall I felt happy and excited and very blessed.

When I arrived in my room after surgery, the nurse told us that Veda would not be coming home with me when I was discharged from the hospital. Well, our little fighter proved her (and the doctors) wrong! On Saturday afternoon we were BOTH discharged! We returned to my parents' house, and because Dave had to work Monday, Sylvia, Veda and I stayed there until we could return home as a family on Tuesday.

So, how does Sylvia feel about being a Big Sister? So far she seems to kind of get a kick out of it. She knows who Veda is and has been able to point to her when we ask her where Veda/her little sister is. She offers Veda her "pipe" (what we call a pacifier), and is eager to take little breaks to check on her sister. There have been some moments of jealousy, but thus far, we have been very pleased with Sylvia's response.

This was Sylvia "checking in" on her sister while we were still at my folks' house. She would stand on a little step stool to peek in on Veda and would often wave at her. It was too cute!

Veda's first doctor's appointment was on Monday. Her discharge weight from the hospital was 5 pounds, 8 ounces. By Monday she was already back up to an even 6 pounds! The doctor was very impressed with Veda, so much so, that we don't need to return until her two week check (next Tuesday), just like a normal newborn! We did have to have her blood drawn to check her billirubin count, but I am assuming that came back okay as I haven't heard anything from the office.

And this was the day that we all returned home. The girls received these matching outfits from Grandma. I should really take a picture of the onesies side by side. Veda's is a preemie size and Sylvia's is 18 months. It is incredible the size difference!

We packed up and arrived home around 5:00 Tuesday. It was very strange and almost hard for me to return home after being gone for a month. It really settled in that, in a way, I missed a month of my life. I returned home and Christmas decorations (and movies and music and cards) were still out. Things that I had meant to do the Tuesday I went to the hospital for the first time, remained in their same spot, untouched. There were things that I had wanted to accomplish before Veda's arrival that just didn't happen. I had wanted to spend a few weeks having some quality time with Sylvia, just the two of us, before the new baby arrived. I had wanted to further "Sylvia proof" the living room area of the house. I guess . . . I had just wanted to be me and living my life before Veda's arrival. But sometimes things don't happen the way we plan. Or, in the case of Dave and me, things seem to rarely happen the way we've planned.

I am so thankful for my wonderful family. My mom especially has been amazing and I really miss her. One thing that I enjoyed very much living at my parents', was how often I got to see my sisters and the time I got to spend with my mom and dad. I am really going to miss them.

Dave's mom was also incredible. She came down several times to watch Sylvia while Mom took me to doctor appointments. She also came with pre-made dinners and food and diapers for Sylvia. She is one amazing woman.

Now we are home and Dave will be here until Wednesday next week, when he needs to return to work. We need assistance. Please, please, please if any of you have a day you can spare to come by us and play with Sylvia and attend to her needs let us know!!! PLEASE!

Sylvia's Big Weekend

2010-01-24T07:34:00.000-08:00

Sylvia had an exciting weekend. On Friday morning her friend, Alexis, and Alexis' mom, Heather, came for a visit. The video is of the two of them playing together. They were so much fun to watch. Sylvia kept laughing and laughing and laughing. This was the first time the two of them really interacted with one another and it was so neat to see.
Then Daddy came back! Sylvia gets very excited when Dave reappears on the weekend. She gets so excited, in fact, that she gets all this excess energy and doesn't even know what to do with herself, so she kind of just runs around in circles and squeals. After Sylvia was in bed Dave and I went to visit with Stepher and Joe and let Uncle Dave meet his nephew, Dax.
I am very pleased to say that Dax is thus far proving to be a wonderful newborn! He sleeps well and eats well and really only fusses when hungry or messy. And Stepher and Joe are proving to be great parents. Plus, he's such a cutie!
Today Sylvia got to meet her cousin for the first time. It was so much fun to see her discover him. She saw Auntie Stephie holding him and walked over to her and kept pointing and smiling and asking, "What's that? What's that?" She was so giddy to see the little baby.
Sylvia has these slippers with a cow on them. My mom, Oma, started this thing where she will grab the toes of the slippers and say "Moo!" Sylvia has really taken to this and will squeeze the toes herself waiting for you to make the "moo" noise. Once or twice I have even heard her say "moo" herself. Well, when she was on the floor by Daxton she kept grabbing his toes, trying to make that "moo" noise. Dave started in and is wasn't long and Sylvia herself would grab Dax's toes and say, "Moo!" too.

We were very encouraged to see how good she was with Dax and hope that we will see a similar success when she meets her sister in a couple of weeks.

And this is saying goodbye to Daddy for the week. He gets her ready for bed and then spends a little time cuddling with her on the couch while they watch an animal video together. Then he brings her up to bed, sings her a song, and tells her he loves her and will miss her. And then . . . Well, then he puts her down and says goodbye to me and he is on his way.

The good news is that this will only last for two more weeks-- hopefully.

I was admitted to the hospital again on Friday. It was, fortunately, a very short visit. My blood pressure was much too high at the doctor's office and she could not let me go home. So, over to the hospital I went where they monitored my b.p. and took my blood. My b.p. went down enough and the blood work came back showing no evidence of preeclampsia yet. I was released.

The current plan that the doctor has implemented is I am scheduled for an amniocentesis on Wednesday, the 3rd of February to check if Lovebug's lung's are fully developed. If they are, then surgery will take place the day after or that Friday. (My original surery date was scheduled for the 18th of February.) Of course, if additional problems should arise or preeclampsia should reoccur then surgery will take place sooner. Additionally, there is a chance that I may go into labor spontaneously as at the appointment Friday I learned I had dilated even further.

Time will tell. In the meantime, I am doing what I can to stay in bright spirits and to try and stay as comfortable as possible. Although pain is a constant for me right now, I can at least keep it manageable-- sometimes.

And, again, thanks for the continued prayers, encouraging notes and emails and all the warm thoughts.

Daxton David

2010-01-21T06:57:00.001-08:00

This little man is my nephew: Daxton David, named after my father (David). He finally decided to enter the world yesterday morning at 10:10 a.m. He was a week "overdue," but I think he was worth the additional wait. He weighed 8 pounds, 4 ounces and was 20" long. He is simply beautiful. He had kind of a tough time coming out so he is pretty black and blue, but it is amazing how quickly those little ones heal.

And this is the proud aunt with her new nephew and his little monkey that I, of course, knit him. I think he really likes his monkey. I can just tell.

And here are a couple of better monkey pictures.

Stepher and Joe are doing well. They are both very tired but also very, very happy. I cannot believe that my sister is a mom. It's not that I don't think she will be a great one, because she already is, but that my sister is old enough to be a mom. When did we all grow up? How does that happen? How can I be having my second child already?

Speaking of my children, Sylvia had her 15 month wellness check on Monday. She continues to look great. Her stats are 22 pounds (40th percentile) and height is very nearly 32" (still the 90th percentile). We recently removed dairy from her diet and this has made a considerable difference in her overall demeanor, ability to sleep at night and the redness on her cheeks has diminished. She was on soy formula as an infant but we tried introducing dairy at about twelve months. Sadly, it looks like she will be a soy girl, at least for a while longer.

And our other daughter is still unborn. At last week's ultrasound I got to see something we have never seen before: Her face! She finally showed off her cute, getting pudgy face. Maybe you can make it out in the photo, maybe not, but trust me-- she's there!

I had another ultrasound yesterday and things continue to look good. Amniotic fluid levels continued to climb, placenta looks healthy, umbilical cord looks good and Lovebug's heart rate continues to be strong and steady.

Unfortunately, Mom has had a very difficult week. I have had so many contractions this week, leaving me in pretty constant misery and unable to sleep. Between the contractions and then the sciatica and the bursitis I am wretchedly uncomfortable. I would like to tell you this is an exaggeration, but the truth is that it isn't. I am due to return home this weekend, and there is nothing I want more, but I am also terrified. Yesterday I had to manage more of my daughter's care (and not all of it) and by nightfall I was in tears from pain. There is no way I can physically attend to my daughter in my condition for up to four more weeks. There is just no way. I lift her and I thank God I have not dropped her yet. Often my hips are so bad that I can't even hold myself up and I feel my legs begin to shake and I drop onto the nearest surface before I hit the floor and cause further damage to myself and potentially Veda.

I am scared for the coming weeks. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Thursday: A Day of Surprises

2010-01-14T20:08:00.000-08:00

Sylvia watched a new show today. I think she was especially impressed with the super short man's shorts and the body hair. Her other surprises today included a morning trip to visit Great Grandpa with Oma, going out for dinner, and getting mail! At the end is a short clip of her finding her mail that was sent to her by a couple of my friends. She LOVES cards and pictures and stuff. She carries them all over the house with her.

Tomorrow she has even more surprises in store. In the morning she is going to a play date with the kids of a friend of mine. AND Daddy comes back for a visit tomorrow! She will be so excited to see him in the evening. I can't wait to see her little face light up when he walks through the door. Too bad she'll have to say goodbye again a couple of days later, but we'll enjoy the time we have.
And here Oma and the Pumpkin are showing off their snazzy p.j.'s. It's just bundles of fun around here!

This is the short video of the Pumpkin discovering a couple of stickers I set out for her from a whole bag full of them and a cute card. She took off with them and it was quite a while before I even got to read what the card said to her. Later, Oma helped her attach the stickers to her card. That made her quite happy.

Mama Update: I saw the doctor again yesterday. It was not a bad visit, but it wasn't a great visit either. The ultrasound showed a very happy and healthy Lovebug, and for that we cannot be more thankful. Amniotic fluid levels were up, but at the absolute bottom of the normal range. This is a very good thing, but it still warrants follow up. My blood pressure was also quite high yesterday and continued to be so even after lying on my side for a non stress test. From now until delivery I have two non stress tests, one ultrasound and at least one doctor appointment a week. That is a lot of time to spend at the doctor's office, but at least it provides me with a couple of outings each week!

Hi, Daddy!

2010-01-12T17:10:00.000-08:00

Hi, Daddy! I miss you very much. Yesterday I heard the back door open and I came running and hollaring, "Da! Da!" But I was kind of sad to see that it was Oma and not you. So, today Mama took some pictures of me doing stuff to share with you. She even took a short video!

This first picture is when Auntie Stephie came over for a visit early this afternoon. She brought lunch for Mama and Oma but NOT FOR ME! She made up for it, though, by reading to me afterward. Her belly is as big as Mama's. She told me that she is going to have a son, and she even told me his name-- I'm the ONLY person who knows! Mama keeps asking me to tell her, but I won't say a word! I hope my cousin comes soon, Auntie says she is due tomorrow, whatever that means.

Oh, and then Oma and I had lots of fun. She was tickling me!

She tickled me so much that I lost a Moo Slipper. We had to figure out how to put it back on.

Here I was a little disappointed. I wanted to watch a Winnie the Pooh video but Mama said no. I am learning to really like videos and I have been watching quite a few of them ever since I got to Oma and Opa's house.

After Mama said no to the video I got my blocks. We played with my blocks for a long time. Mama has a video of us playing with them at the end of this post.

And Mama wanted you to know that she was very productive today. I have no idea what that means but she wanted to post this picture of her block creation. I was so impressed with it that I didn't even knock it down right away.

And for some reason I thought it would be fun to put all my piggy money in the bottom of Oma's stepstool and then sit in it. Auntie Rosco got such a kick out of it that she carried me around that house that way! I had a little trouble getting out, but I finally made it.

And this is the video that Mama took of me playing today. I hope you like it. I didn't wave or say hello or anything, but that is because I was too interested in my blocks.

I love you bunches, Daddy. I miss you. (And Mama does too.)

Feeling Alone

2010-01-10T20:30:00.001-08:00

Dave went back home today. That leaves Sylvia and me at my parent's house for the next couple of weeks, only seeing Dave on the weekends. This will be very, very hard for us. This is a time when I really need my husband with me and he can't be. It does not seem fair. I realize that things could always be worse, and in this case they could have been far worse, but I feel a little slighted by the universe. For whatever reason I do not bear children well. I have no idea why, and I certainly hope this has no bearing on my actual parenting. I am feeling very saddened by the entire situation.

I begged and pleaded with Dave to just take us home last night, but he told me what I already knew: That really is not an option. Sylvia and I both need constant care and I need to be close to the hospital in case an emergency should occur. I know this, but I don't want to acknowledge it. I keep thinking of ways that I could make it work at home. We could block off sections of the house. I could have food for Sylvia within easy reach and feed her while she sits on her table and I am on the couch. I could change her on the floor . . . But then I realize that these are not practical options. Someone still needs to get her in and out of her crib both first thing in the morning and at nap time. I cannot chase after her if she should get into trouble. And I know that I WILL do too much if I am at home with just the two of us. I know that I will try and clean up the messes and I know that I will end up lifting her and that I will end up preparing food and cleaning the counters and making the bed . . . I know all of this. And I know that I cannot do these things right now.

And that pains me.

I just feel so helpless. And like a bad Mama. And like a difficult wife. And like a challenging daughter.

One thing that does make me smile is the birthday gift I made my mom. I knit her a teddy bear. My mom loves bears and when she saw the one I made the Pumpkin for her birthday she informed me that she wanted one too. The one I made my mom is much larger and a far more complicated pattern. I am actually pretty proud of him, especially as the pattern was quite flawed and I had to make several corrections. I finished the night before I was admitted to the hospital and I took these pictures of him:

Isn't he cute? I especially love his rotund belly. It reminds me of Winnie the Pooh a little bit. I don't think this little guy has a name yet, but I hope my mom settles on a good one.

Sibling Rivalry Begins Early

2010-01-08T15:56:00.000-08:00

Most of you reading this will be aware of the events of this week but for those of you who aren't, let me relay some of the details.

On Tuesday morning I learned that sibling rivalry can begin very, very early. Apparently, Lovebug is feeling the need to usurp her sister's birth story:

I went into preterm labor on Tuesday morning. Dave flew home from work and we took the Pumpkin down to Holland Hospital with us where my mom met us and took the girl with her. At first, things sounded optimistic. I wasn't having contractions yet, the bleeding had pretty much subsided, and a quick look by the doctor made it look like I hadn't dilated too far. But there was still quite a bit of blood, so despite not liking to do cervical checks before 34 weeks, she thought she had better. I was dilated much, much too far for 33 weeks. And then the contractions began.

The doctor told me that they had to put me on magnesium sulfate, which is the same drug I was on while in labor with Sylvia last year. Last year it was to prevent seizures due to preeclampsia. This year it was to try and stop labor. I begged and pleaded with the doctor if there were some other way. She said that because I was dilated so far and in active labor they had to take the most aggressive route possible.

The mag eventually worked (after a dose increase Tuesday night). Wednesday night they weaned me off and all was well until about 3:00 a.m. when the contractions began again. They started a new drug, but the contractions continued, so they had to increase the dose and frequency. By Thursday morning I was on a white liquid only diet in case surgery were needed that afternoon. In the end, the new medication (taken orally), while not able to completely cease the contractions, has kept me from dilating further. I was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon and put on total bed rest. I was also told that I needed to reside near the hospital, so that has Sylvia and me staying with my parents. (We live over an hour away from the hospital, and if the weather were to turn bad it could be a very, very long trip.)

An ultrasound Wednesday morning showed that Lovebug is doing very, very well. She is plenty active, her weight is good and her heart rate is excellent. There is one concern: My amniotic fluid levels are a little low. This confused the doctor a little as I was being pumped with fluids through IV's, drinking plenty of fluids on my own, and was on bed rest-- all factors which should increase fluid levels. I was already scheduled for an ultrasound this coming Wednesday and fluid levels will be checked again.

In the meantime, I will be living at my parent's house until I reach 36 weeks. I take medication every four hours, which while MUCH better than the mag, does have some side effects. Dave will live at home, so he can still go to work, and stay with us on the weekends. Things are rough, but I feel very blessed to have such an amazing husband, family and friends.

Sylvia's Photo Shoot(s)

2010-01-02T17:20:00.000-08:00

Well, Sylvia is truly quite the ham in front of the camera. Twice in the past week or so she went and retrieved the camera herself and approached Dave or me to have us take her picture. The above two shots are from photo shoot no.1 done with Daddy. And, yes, the poor thing had her first cold sore right over Christmas. It is all healed now.

And these two pictures are from photo shoot no. 2 when she developed her own special "camera smile." The first shot she was moving back and forth, but her smile still came through. Ever since these pictures were taken she has continued with this posed expression:

That little chair was her Christmas gift from Santa Claus (Mom and Dad). She loves it as much as we were hoping she would. This particular morning she got up, walked out of her room with Hailey and promptly went to her chair to have a seat. She takes her books there, will eat her snack there (which she is not actually allowed to do, she is supposed to stay at her table) and will watch her occasional video there. It even comes with pockets on the sides for her books!

And she is walking all the time now! Today I don't think she started out crawling even once. Our days of crawling are quickly becoming a thing of the total past-- well, at least until Lovebug begins!

And Happy New Year to all!

Happy Knitting Christmas!

2009-12-27T16:41:00.000-08:00

As my long sleeve tee shirt from Santa says: I am kind of a knitting superhero!

Stories of Our Happenings (With Pictures!)

2009-12-21T17:10:00.000-08:00

Christmas is in full swing around here. Two weekends ago we had our Ertman family get together. It was kind of loud and chaotic, with four kids present. Hard to believe that come next year there will be SIX! And I am not talking about a large family. It is my family (Dave, Sylvia and me; Stepher and Joe, Rosco, and my folks) and my cousin and his wife and three sons and then my other cousin (who is single). And Great Aunt Selma, who is 93. That's it, but with kids present it suddenly seems like such a large event! We had a great time and I really look forward to this gathering every year.
And this is Sylvia with Hailey, her newest baby. I wish you all could have seen her when she opened this gift from my cousin and his wife. She ripped the packaging above her face first and began to giggle. Then Daddy couldn't get the doll out of her packaging soon enough! I thought Sylvia was going to attack him she wanted that baby so badly! For the first several days after arriving home Hailey totally usurped Babydoll, but now Babydoll seems to be the favorite again.

That same weekend we had friends over an evening. They have an eight month old son, Ryan. Ryan was seated in this bouncy seat (which has been mentioned here before). Sylvia was totally not okay with Ryan using this seat and took matters into her own hands! See that triumphant gleam in her eye (and the somewhat bedazed look in Ryans)?

And last night we had our Christmas gathering with our dear friends and neighbors, Phil and Keeley (and their son, Jack). Jack will be six months on Christmas day. Sylvia is a little over fourteen months. They are nearly the same size and most certainly the same weight. Jack is a very big boy! But he is also about as happy as babies come. He handled Sylvia stealing his toys very well; although, all her squealing did concern him a bit.

And I succumbed and took a pregnancy shot this afternoon while Sylvia ate lunch. She found this photo shoot rather amusing and laughed when I posed for my shot. (Looking at the picture, I would have laughed too, I suppose.) I am about 31.5 weeks and I really think I am considerably larger than I was last year . . . But this is probably not true. Last year I had so much water retention; the swelling was horrendous (thanks to the preeclampsia). This year I have virtually no swelling and I have actually only gained about seven pounds.

I began physical therapy today. I think it will be good. The therapist did say she is confident she can help relieve some of the pain, but not all of it. Only childbirth will give me real relief. The worst part is that my lifestyle is not at all conducive to pain management (meaning, I have a toddler). I did learn that pretty much anything that could be wrong with my hips/pelvic region is. Our focus is going to be on relaxation of the area more than anything, as almost all stretches and exercises will actually aggravate my conditions. So, my sessions will include heat wrap, my one or two stretches (which I also do at home), then some manual adjustment (OUCH!) and then heat wraps again.

Well, I need to get back to my knitting. I still have a few gifts to get done before Christmas!

Discouraged

2009-12-16T16:00:00.001-08:00

I am having a difficult time. I am in so much pain from this pregnancy that I am nearly in tears. The doctor prescribed muscle relaxants and I finally had to give in and accept physical therapy. I have been putting off the therapy because I don't know how I am going to manage doing it with a fourteen month old. How on earth am I supposed to control her while I am undergoing various exercises? I don't know, but I suppose we will give it a try. I have no other choice. She also told me to rest as much as possible and to not lift anything. I told her that was simply not an option (meaning I have a toddler).

While this pregnancy is technically going much better than my previous one the pain factor is through the roof. The doctor said that sometimes happens with subsequent pregnancies especially when A: I was pregnant again about half a year after giving birth and B: I have a fourteen month old who requires lifting and chasing after.

I wish I could even say that it was only one aspect of pregnancy pain that is bothering me but the truth is my sciatic nerve is pinched 24/7, my pelvic bones have shifted too far apart causing my uterus to rest on my ligament and occasionally making me collapse to the floor in pain, and my hips are in sorry shape causing me excruciating pain at night. This doesn't include the "normal" back pains and such.

I don't want to complain because none of these things are life threatening (unlike last year), but I am really about at the end of my rope . . .

AND after Lovebug is born we will need HELP. I will be unable to physically care for both of my girls. My mother-in-law is wonderful and will offer as much help as she can, but she has her own life too. My own mother has my sister (who is due five weeks ahead of me), as well as her father and my father's aunt to care for. We are relying on friends and other family to help us out for a few weeks-- until I am able to lift Sylvia on my own. So, please . . . If you can spare a day in March, let us know. (And, yes, I am beginning to get rather stressed about this.)

In other pregnancy news, I am scheduled for one more ultrasound. My last one was not my last one, after all. Perhaps I don't understand how badly everything went with the last pregnancy but the doctor said that things went quite wrong the last time and that puts me in the high risk category this time, requiring a late third trimester scan. And as we are also looking for a heart defect that may still present itself (although if it does it will be very minor and easy to fix) it is best to just do the scan.

And after all of this negative news I will at least leave you with a picture that makes me smile. Orange has a new favorite spot to "hang out:"